Thursday, 5 February 2009

How Does The Poor Woman Keep Taking It?


If she wasn't such a shrill self-satisfied cow you might at a stretch and with a following wind feel the odd twinge of pity for our useless and incompetent Home Economics Secretary, Jacqui Smith. About the only words of encouragement she gets are those she pays her husband to write.

As I wrote over at Old Holborn's Club For Desperados yesterday, La Spliff was holding a meeting to bring together experts on burglary in order to try and countermand her earlier assertion that the depression (previously recession, thanks Gordon) would inevitably lead to an increase in burglaries. She has already been rapped publicly over the knuckles for fiddling statistics, so has to find another way of spinning that things are not running dangerously out of control. Although she needs a plod escort to go for a kebab, and has admitted being too afraid to go out in London in the dark.

However, her little summit was holed below the waterline by the fact that Labour's own figures show that 80% of serial burglars escape the maximum prison sentence, and 15% don't even go to prison at all. And Jack "Slippery Weasel" Straw over at the laughable Ministry Of No Justice has let 4,000 burglars out early because when Home Secretary he failed to build any prisons, the stupid corrupt little cunt.

She must also have been a tad dismayed that a report has also been published revealing that not all of the police farces are ready to deal with large scale civil disobedience.

Best order some more tasers, Jacqui!

The Penguin

7 comments:

Sue said...

She really IS a waste of space! I could happily slap her!

Tory Poppins said...

OMG . . .hillarious!
Although have to confess that on 1st reading,
'She has already been rapped publicly over the knuckles for fiddling statistics' didn't see the double 'p' in rapped! Naughty me!
Bravo 'guin!

Lobbydog said...

Maybe she doesn't like going out at night because she's scared of meeting penguins in the capital's dark alleys.

The Penguin said...

We can be very tricky to spot down dark alleys, and just ask any fish you meet how sharp the Penguin's Beak is!

Demon said...

The thing is....

I'd still shag her....

Pain, humiliation - bring it on

AngryDave said...

She should make herself useful and choke on something.

it's either banned or compulsory said...

Thought you might like to know that when Police Divisional Commanders go for training in Civil Contingency stuff Belfast is where they go to get it. You know, Northern Ireland, the place where the Army acts in support of the Civil Power.