By email, first to firstname.lastname@example.org and got this:
"Thank you for your e mail. Unfortunately I have to try and direct e mails to the appropriate address with the rather blunt instrument of this standard message. Apologies if it does not apply to you.
This address is for the use of my constituents who wish to contact me. I cannot deal with cases from outside of the Redditch Constituency - they are rightly the responsibility of local MPs.
In addition, enquiries from outside my constituency relating to my ministerial work should be sent to the public enquiry desks of the Home Office. For general enquiries the address is
For enquiries about immigration cases the address is
For constituents please confirm your postal address by return if you have not already done so. Replies to constituent enquiries are usually done via the post.
Regards Jacqui Smith MP "
So I resent it to email@example.com
"Dear Ms. Smith,
I am writing to you because I am concerned by the reports in the newspapers and on the internet about the amount of money that you have claimed over the years as an additional living allowance.
If the facts being reported are correct, and I have not heard of you refuting them, then you have claimed tax free allowances supposedly for the maintenance of a second home either close to Parliament or in your constituency so as to be able to effectively carry out your duties in those places. However, most reasonable people would not consider that lodging a few nights a week in your sister’s spare room and contributing to the household equates to maintaining a second home, let alone being able by some peculiar argument which defies logic that it is in fact your main home, thereby enabling you to claim the maximum possible within the guidlelines towards your home in Redditch as being a second home. After all, that “second home2 in Redditch is where you spend most (long) weekends with your family, including the husband who is on your payroll at taxpayers expense and who writes such nice letters to the local papers praising you.
How do you justify such behaviour? It may be within the rules as interpreted by other parliamentarians who are similarly taking advantage of an incredibly lax and overly generous system, but to the general public, including those who you would wish to vote for you at the next general election, and who do not have such a system of benefits and perks, that it is morally indefensible and completely unacceptable for an MP, let alone a minister of the crown to behave in such a money grubbing and insensitive way.
Many people would conclude that it is downright dishonest, and in any other walk of life would lead to criminal charges for deception and fraud. It is little wonder that people regard politicians with such suspicion and contempt, and little wonder that so few bother participating in our democracy. Are you proud of your behaviour? Do you think your children’s school friends will understand your position in claiming to have done nothing wrong, when similar behaviour by their parents would lead to prison? How is your case different to that of Michael Trend?
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours truly,"Now just in case the black helicopters and Mr Creedy turn up, I did point out to bloggers and commenters over at Obo's place that as I was the New Polar Bear and down for extinction thanks to Al Gore and the Carbon Trading Gravy Train, there was fuck all he could threaten me with, and in any case I come from a large family.
Hence the picture.