Sunday, 15 February 2009

What A Lovely Bunch!

"Max Clifford told me to wear it!"

I thought the "Babyfather" story was squalid enough, but it gets worse and worse.

His family are at war over making money from flogging exclusives to the tabloids, and his father, a strange rubber headed creature, has nine children and three step-children - so you can see where poor Alfie is coming from, if you'll excuse the pun. However, I have a cynical suspicion that he's been set up to take the rap as being the most saleable to the redtops.

Because now there's a raft of other teenagers claiming it could be any one of them who is the father, as they were all shagging Chantelle, many of them at her house while her mother was downstairs. What sort of mother allows that sort of behaviour? Now of course she is claiming that Alfie "took Chantelle's virginity" - I wonder what she'll be saying when the results of the DNA testing prove this is not the case?

Will the tabloids be asking Alfie's grasping parents for refunds? And what are the prospects for the poor little baby?

The Penguin


Rab C. Nesbitt said...

She looks like she has been banged more times than a taxi door. Bet little Alfie didn't even touch the sides. Makes you proud to be British.

Dennis said...

It's quite possible that at the age of 12 he wouldn't yet be producing viable spermatozoa, even though he would be quite capable of yer actual fucking.

Genital warts, anyone?

wv: mates, I really and truly shit you not. There is some evil little sod at Google who is doing this on purpose.

Anna Raccoon said...

Didn't I read somewhere that Chantelle had already been pregnant once at 13 herself - I find it unlikely that she would have held onto he virginity for 15 years in that household anyway.

The Penguin said...

I think that's Alfie's sister pregnant at 13.

When you add this to the recent case of the 15 year old expecting triplets and convinced her children will follow her "lifestyle choice" at tax-payers expense, it rather demonstrates the need for serious root and branch reform of our benefits system.

Fidothedog said...

Mr Springer must be desperate for a one off episode featuring this family.

The Refuser said...

Oxygen thieves. Another "benefit" of our insanely generous welfare system.

Anonymous said...

You note the slag is only 15 but already has the council house face lift. The hair pulled back and tied on a lighter note the fucker might get run over before it breeds again.