Mr. Tessa Jowell, aka David "Dodgy" Mills is facing some difficulties over appealing against his four and a half years doing "polenta" in some Italian prison, where he worries about all those rough Mafia types thinking he has a pretty mouth. Because he was found guilty, he has to pay his own legal costs, plus fund the appeals.
Sadly, this is proving to be a bit difficult. His country pile is being devalued by Gordon's "No More Boom And Bust" price adjustment, and by the neighbouring pikey camp, which a Government Inspector has granted four years grace to remain, making it unsaleable as the Labour introduced HIPS report would have to declare "Thieving Pikeys Next Door". Honestly you'd think it was a conspiracy, wouldn't you?
So, in desperation Mr. Tessa has placed adverts in some select gentlemens' publications.
Well educated and well endowed Lady of a certain age
will provide intimate personal services for gentleman
of discernment. Although perhaps not as firm as in her
prime, Tessa's Tits are fine for a Soapy Tit Wank, and
her arsehole has not really been used much as she has
spent so many years spouting shit out of her mouth.
And, with the false teeth removed, she does a fantastic
and completely safe blow job. Prices on request, discounts
available for groups. Cash only, no credit cards
or cheques. Apply David Mills, c/o Senor Berlusconi,
Romano Prodi Way, Via Briberi, Corrupcione, Milano"
As the House of Commons is on holiday for most of the year, Mr. Jowell is sure that this will not adversely affect his wife's supervision of the Olympics, and he is planning to make a few bob on the side flogging some more dodgy deposits to the sperm banks.