Thursday, 19 February 2009

Lord Voldemort's Foul Mouthed Tirade In Full

Newspaper reports have been carefully edited
to try and spare potty-mouthed Business And Bribes Secretary Lord Voldemort from accusations that he lacks Boris Johnson's particular flair for the judicious use of the vernacular idiom.

Angered by some remarks by hugely successful entrepreneurial businessman and billionaire Howard Schultz, Lord Voldemort let rip.

"That fucking cunt!! - who the fucking hell does he think he is, the fat bald cunt? How fucking dare he criticise the UK economy? The only reason the fucking UK fucking economy is in the shit is because fucking bastards like him have been ripping us off for cups of third rate fucking coffee! He can take his fucking Starbucks and shove them up his fucking enormous fucking arse! With a fucking muffin! Bugger me backwards with a brass bargepole, if I wasn't a fucking pacifist I'd punch his fucking lights out!"

The Penguin


polaris said...

I never thunk Mandy was capable of such macho language...

Sounds suspiciously like The Penguin to me.

The Penguin said...

Hey, are you implying I made it up? What do you take me for, a journalist? :-)

Obnoxio The Clown said...

TDM has a good take, as usual ...

Cato said... are Mandy and I claim my £5.......pmsl

Lord Mandelbottom of Marrakech said...

Cato said...
" are Mandy and I claim my £5.......pmsl"

Darling Mr Cato

You are wrong! I am Peter (Lord!) Mandelson, and you may pay me £5 or, much, much more.

Much Love