Saturday, 7 February 2009

Geoff Hoon's Advice To Motorists


Secretary Of State For Transport, Geoff Hoon, has told a group of the privileged over a lunch in Westminster (it's all right, he can claim it back on expenses!) that he is sick and fucking tired of motorists complaining that the roads are too dangerous to drive on because the government have not spent enough on snow ploughs and gritters.

"What the fuck do they expect? I couldn't even get enough body armour or rifles for our troops before I sent them off to Iraq and that other place, you know, dusty, sand, arabs. Horrid place. Any way, all these whingeing bloody drivers, they can fuck right off down to Halfords and buy some snow chains. Waiter!! Two more of the Margaux!!"

The Penguin

12 comments:

Sue said...

Astonishing isn't it? Even if people did manage to secure chains, half the roads are completely impassible with abandoned cars and bridges have been closed!

The whole cabinet are out of touch (must be all those skiing holidays).

He needs to remember that these things are charged in people's council tax bills! Not to mention that THIS IS HIS JOB!

Cato said...

I'd like to know why councils are running out of salt.
I suspect that they've adopted a risk management strategy and it's backfired badly.

However, Hoon is still a HOON!

Tory Poppins said...

Also surprised councils are running out of salt considering all the f**cking council tax we're forced to pay. No doubt another bloody excuse for some outrageous rises in April!

TractorStats said...

With Mad Cow disease you slaughter and burn, why the hell not with Mad Labour disease. We urgently need a cull nation wide of these Bastards.

The Penguin said...

Tory Poppins,

Don't bother with the f**cking asterisks, you are unlikely to cause me or these other reprobates any distress - any delicate flowers will be unlikely to have got past the postings, let alone reach the comments!

Oh, and I have a terrific vocabulary, should anyone be wondering, it's just that swearing is fucking cathartic. :-)

The Penguin

Bob's Head Revisited said...

I fucking agree Penguin. If I didn't fucking well swear so cunting much I'd just fucking be fucking well angry all the cocking time. It really fucking helps me to sodding well maintain a fucking even temperament!
Damn it!

The Penguin said...

Over at Guido's the conspirators seem to think that cunt and hoon are pretty much interchangeable.

And from ARRSE ( http://www.arrse.co.uk/cpgn2/Forums/viewforum/f=3.html )the armed forces long ago gave him his very own TLA (three letter abbreviation) of TCH standing for That Cunt Hoon.

Makes friends wherever he goes.

Geoff Cunt said...

I can categorically state that I am, always have been and always will be a Hoon.

Lord Mandelbottom of Marrakech said...

Not withstanding the fact that he is a fellow cabinet minister, it MUST be obvious to all and sundry that Geoff Hoon is a useless fucking twat.

Much Love

Mandy
xx

it's either banned or compulsory said...

Like I've already suggested, the reason the cunts have run out of salt is that any council 'Worker' who might have suggested bigging up the grit stockpiles would have been denounced as a Climate Change Denying pedophile and hauled off for re-education ( probably in the Cheshire salt mines; who says the righteous don't have a sense of humour ?)

Man with Many Chins said...

"Bob's Head Revisited said...

I fucking agree Penguin. If I didn't fucking well swear so cunting much I'd just fucking be fucking well angry all the cocking time. It really fucking helps me to sodding well maintain a fucking even temperament!
Damn it!"
Fuck me, thats a lot of fucking sweating in one cunting sentence!
LMFAO

nodamnblog said...

Nothing wrong with Hoon that a snow chain wrapped round his head at high speed wouldn't cure.