Health Secretary Alan Johnson is to announce a wonderful new initiative to deceive the public. He is going to pretend to set up new "Memory Clinics" in every town across the UK.
Luckily for Alistair Darling, it is just another NuLiebore Headline Grabbing Announcement, which will then never amount to anything and so will cost fuck all. Unless a quango is set up to do nothing much except have lunch, in which case it will cost millions.
Alan, who used to be a postman until after many years of trudging he finally worked out that becoming a union official would save all that hard work and would be a lot better paid, told his lackeys in the Department For Killing Off Pensioners that the Memory Clinics was a brilliant idea.
"The thing is, no one will fucking know that we haven't actually set them up. They'll just think they've forgotten where they are! And by the time they notice, loads of them will already be dead. And you can't rely on the fuckers to turn up and vote, or even to remember who we've paid them to vote for, so no great fucking loss! If anyone complains, I'll just give them the old Karate chop."
The Penguin
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