It's Official - Cumbria Is Fucked!

Pity the poor folk of Cumbria today - not only have they to try and cope in the ongoing severe weather and the resulting floods, but McCavity has turned up in person to deliver his usual Curse.

Thank goodness I explored the Lake District when I was younger, and have some photographs of it to show my grandchildren should they ever wish to know what it was like before the Brown Blight made a wasteland of it.

The Penguin

Never Mind The Rest, We Need Some Peruvians!

Phil "Custard Face" Woolas, the useless glove-puppet notionally in charge of our borders should immediately issue instructions that Peruvians wanting to come to the UK should be fast-tracked.

It would save a small fortune for local authorities and for the NHS, even if fast-food outlets and super-markets saw a dip in their profits.

And it might negate the need for a couple of nuclear power stations....

The Penguin

At Last Some Good News

"Anything You Do Say Will Be Written Down..."

"The Crown Prosecution Service has decided there is sufficient evidence and it is in the public interest to prosecute the Rt Hon Harriet Harman MP for the offences of driving without due care and attention and driving whilst using a handheld mobile telephone in relation to an incident on 3 July 2009.

"The Metropolitan police service provided papers to the CPS on 9 November 2009 which were reviewed by the special crime division in accordance with the Code for Crown Prosecutors. An MPS employee will now attend a magistrates court in order to obtain a summons to be served on Ms Harman."

This is amusing on many levels - not least because the mad bitch was Solicitor General when NuLiebore made using a mobile phone while driving illegal, one of their multitude of laws dictating what we can and can't do. Then there's her high-handed ignoring the law and driving away from the crash without providing the necessary information, typical of the political elite who think they are above the laws they pass to restrict the ordinary little people.

Not to mention she can't fucking drive becasue she's a woman. Allegedly.

The Penguin

The New MOD-speak

Amazing, the MOD have come up with a new language, MOD-speak, in order to perpetrate whitewashes of cover-ups. Here are a few examples.

Murders at Deepcut Barracks = Suicides
Lack of basic equipment = non-contributory factors
Critical report = requiring a re-write under new and fairer rules
Completely Useless Cunt = Secretary of State for Defence

The Penguin

Don't Hold Your Breath

Sacrificial Pigs

The Plod have passed six files of the most obvious expenses fiddling to the CPS for consideration about mounting prosecutions.

Don't be too surprised if the muppet Keir Starmer, Labour's apparatchik Director Of Public Prosecutions decides that there is insufficient evidence or that it would not be in the public interest to proceed to bringing charges. After all, pigs are tribal.

The Penguin

Crying Wont Help You

Time For Some Revenge, Darling?

Do you recall how it was the charmless Ed Balls who was so keen to be Chancellor in the buggered-up reshuffle that he had cleared his desk and told his staff he was off to the Treasury, only to look even more like a puffed up twat when Darling unexpectedly grew a pair and told the dithering Brown he was staying put?

Now Balls has publically tried to bounce Darling into giving his department for ruining children's lives a big increase in funds when the government is desperately trying to avoid the Gnomes of Zurich down-rating Britain's Junk Bonds by trimming a few quid from Gordon's Client State Bribery Bill.
Oddly enough, Darling has effectively told Balls to fuck off. I'm sure that he is aware of how effectively Brown fucked over everyone and everything he disagreed with by cutting off the money when he was Chancellor. Like the Armed Forces, for example.

I'm sure Balls can look forward to the spending settlement when it comes.

Bit like Gordon is looking forward to the General Election.

The Penguin

Suspicious Disappearance?

Odd how quickly the story about the huge amounts that MOD civil servants get for being REMFs at nice safe base camps in Afghanistan - close on £50,000 for a six month suntan break - has fallen out of the mainstream media. And that money is IN ADDITION to their regular salaries, making a complete mockery of a squaddies basic.

Then of course, there's the £300 MILLION in bonuses paid to MOD civil servants in the 8 years of the Afghanistan conflict.

Strangely silent too, Postman Prat, who seems not to have a full understanding of the facts. Thick cunt.

The Penguin

Is There A Coloured Elephant In The Room?

Hmmm, seems everyone is tippy toeing round here and not actually daring to call a spade a spade.

Or words to that effect.

Is it because the bloke arrrested is Afro-Caribbean by any chance? And did all the politically correct bollocks prevent the plod from nicking him sooner?

So much for fucking multi-culturalism.

The Penguin

Once More With Feeling!

Apparently McDoom hates being laughed at.

The Penguin

Pulling Up The Drawbridge!

"I'm All Right, Jack!"

The Squeaker of the House of Commons inists that the Kelly Reforms should be adopted in full, even if it is "rough justice" for some MP's.

Of course, as a serial flipper and mega-claimer at the trough when just a mere MP himself, he now enjoys a vastly increased salary and pensions as Squeaker, along with a highly desirable and luxurious apartment on which fucking tons of tax-payers' money has been lavished - some £700,000 for Gorbals Mick's make-over, I believe, and now another £45,000 to satisfy Mrs Squeaker's demands. So he's got a well feathered nest, and can afford to say fuck you lot to the rest of them.

Hypocritical little cunt.

The Penguin

Bye Bye Byers

"Repay? Repay? What The Fuck Do You Mean?"

Seems that the proposed reforms to the expenses regime mean that there's no longer enough gravy in the trough to suit Stephen Lyers Byers, whose wondrous 30 year career sucking at the public teat has encompassed such magnificent achievements as fucking up MG Rover by flogging it for fuck-all to the dodgy consortium, fucking up Railtrack and screwing the investors, and employing the fucking sensitive and caring Jo Moore, who at least knew when to bury bad news.

I wonder if he is going to repay the £125,000 he claimed in second home expenses for a residence owned outright by his partner?

Somehow, I suspect he'll get away with it, the fucking scrote.

The Penguin

The Stupidest Cunt Of Them All?

"Sometimes I had to deliver as many as 3 letters to the same address, fucking dangerous, I deserve a bonus!"

It's a fucking difficult call to make, but I am veering towards awarding Alan "Postman Prat" Johnson the title of the stupidest cunt in the cabinet.

This thick bastard walked around in the rain and the snow for 19 fucking years shoving letters through letterboxes and shitting himself if a dog barked before it dawned on him that going full time as one of the brothers meant a nice warm dry office. He's the stupid cunt who thought that patients choosing to buy drugs that might keep them alive was likely to destroy the NHS. He thinks he knows better than real scientists the dangers of various drugs.

Now, as Home Secretary he insists he can't stop the extradition to the United States of some nerdy computer hacker despite advice to the contrary by independent m'learned friends and now even the fucking useless Home Affairs Select Committee.

And to top it all, although he has never ever served in the Armed Forces or set foot in the MOD, he tries to defend the indefensible bonuses paid to the penpushers and other REMFs by claiming that their jobs are as dangerous as serving in the frontline in Afghanistan.

Even among the bunch of talent-free wankers and has-beens in Gordon McDoom's cabinet of no-hopers, Alan Johnson stands tall as the stupidest cunt of them all.

The Penguin

Blind Stupid Tribal Loyalty By The Porridge Pigmies

"Willie Bain's Just Keeping The Seat Warm For My Son, Ye Ken!"

The ludicrous porridge pigmies of impoverished Glasgow, which has been run for their own benefit by generations of dodgy Labour politicians, have voted for yet more of the same corrupt self-serving tribal servitude.

Not really surprising, just rather sad.

The Penguin

No Wonder The Fucking BBC Go Easy On The Troughing Politicians!

Grasping Cunt With a Basic £884,000 Salary - Plus Big Expenses

Well, what a fucking surprise this isn't. The feather-bedded BBC, whose fucking crap programmes are interspersed with more bleeding adverts than the supposedly commercial channels (only difference is that they are all for other BBC-related money-spinners, like books and exhibitions, and other fucking programmes) and yet tax every cunt with a TV whether they watch the fucking BBC or not, are mega-troughers in terms of expenses.

They make our corrupt and sleaze-ridden politicians look like fucking amateurs when it comes to getting the snout in deep.

No fucking wonder that their "journalists" give the politicians such an easy ride.

Cunts!!!!

The Penguin

Harriet's Latest Clever Wheeze!

Harriet As Featured At "Is A Cunt"

You have to give the mad bitch points for perseverance and persistence.

Her new plan is to set up a council of powerful wimmin to put the world to rights and end the evil domination of men who are oppressing and dissing the sisterhood.

Invited to the Harpie Council are:
Hariet Harperson ( Chairgirl)
Hilary Clinton (Cowgirl)
Angela Merkel (Oldgirl)
Nancy Sinatra
Princess Diana
Mother Teresa
Indira Ghandi
Joan of Arc
Emily Pankhurst
Eva Braun
The Duchess of Bracknell
Pope Joan

She apparently would welcome more nominations, feel free!

The Penguin

Joined Up Transport Policy A Triumph?

Imagine - Could This Be Prescott's Cum-Face? Poor Tracy!! Poor Pauline!!!

We must be suitably grateful to Stephen Lyers-Byers, for his efforts over Railtrack, and to John Two Slags Prescott, the Mouth of The Humber, for his wondrous stewardship of the much vaunted Joined Up Transport Policy, the fruits of which are now plain for all to see.

Rail fares are fucking astronomical.

Over a THOUSAND QUID to get from Cornwall to Skye!

And Network Rail have hired luxury coaches to take 200 staff from their Reading HQ on some time wasting jolly to fucking Coventry (of all places, for fuck's sake!) saving themselves something like £24,600 on the cost of rail travel.

Never mind the nonsense of travelling anyway in these days of video conferencing, I'm sure there are venues in the Reading area they could have used, or even perhaps their own fucking staff canteen? Never mind the fucking carbon footprint bollocks.

Next cunt who tries to tell me I should be using public fucking transport is likely to get told to procreate and travel.

The Penguin

Postman Prat - Untrustworthy As Well As Useless!

"They Know If My Lips Are Moving I'm Lying, So I'm Hiding My Mouth Like This..."

Would you trust this man? If so, how far? Could he be depended upon to look after a recorded delivery letter? Could you trust him not to breach your confidence by having your resignation splashed all over the BBC-Pravda News while you were still on the train trying to get home? Would you trust him to tell the truth? Can you imagine him being any more honest than Bliar and Broon as Prime Minister? Would he take decisions in the interests of the country, or for his own narrow political and personal benefit?

Personally I wouldn't trust him to sit the right way round on a lavatory!

The Penguin

Unfit For Purpose!

Sack the bitch!

What the fuckety fucking fuck has been going on at the useless Ofsted, "led" by the quangocrat wife of thieving politician Tom McNumpty, Christine Gilbert?

Their "mistakes" in trying to suppress evidence are likely to hand the harridan Shoesmith a fucking victory on technical grounds in her case for unfair fucking dismissal!

"We have nothing to hide" they say, after months of hiding things from the legal team representing Shoesmith, only to roll over under the FoI (bet the politicians regret passing that one!).

Heads must roll for this.

The Penguin

Secret Inquests By The Back Door

Jack "The Slippery Weasel" Straw, the most untrustworthy cunt amongst a right shifty bunch of cunts has succeeded in getting his secret inquests throughthe Commons, although hardly any of the so called mainstream media seem to be reporting it.

No, the Prime Mentalist's pathetic hand writing and crass stupidity over sending out a letter full of mistakes is much more newsworthy.

If the Lords don't throw this out, the police will be able to shoot you without even the faint embarrassment of having to explain themselves to a public inquest.

The Penguin

Slag Of The Week

Here's a lovely little vignette of Bliar's Britain.

This fucking slag is pregnant with a third bastard, thereby ensuring that we pay her fucking loads and loads of benefits, including free fucking housing.

And she has just escaped with a slapped wrist after setting fire to her council house and claiming it was yobs so she could get another council house closer to her mother.

No wonder she's fucking grinning, she got one two doors down from her Mum. Who must be so fucking proud.

How many more scrotes will she bang out to become the next problem generation?

The Penguin

Talk About Re-Writing History!

The Dwarf-Emperor of France, Nicolas Napoleon Sarkozy 1st is busily re-writing history to properly reflect his role in all of the important events of the last few centuries.

He it was who struck the first few pick axe blows to bring down the Berlin Wall.

It was Sarkozy who accepted the surrender by Adolf Hitler on a previous flying visit to Berlin.

Sarkozy happened to be on a surfing holiday in Hawaii in 1942 and rescued General Macarthur from the wreckage of Pearl Harbour.

It was Sarkozy who really rescued Private Ryan, but gallantly refused to claim the glory.

Sarkozy risked everything to row single handled across the Channel to bring Winston Churchill the Enigma machine he had stolen from Himmler.

Oh, and he invented the Internet and told Steve Jobs how to make a better computer.

What the fuck would we have done without the little chap?

The Penguin

Bliar's Big Bribe?

Seems that the cost of Bliar's cowardly handing back of Thatcher's rebate will be some £9.3 BILLION by 2013. And of course, it's fucking ongoing.

If I were at all cynical I'd think it was a bribe to try and ensure he'd be installed as President of the EUSSR. The treacherous fucking cunt.

He must be furious that Gordon's support has scuppered his chances.

The Penguin

Unintended Consequences?

Do you think that The Great Saviour OF The World, Our Unelected Prime Mentalist, who bestrides the world stage like a ghastly shuffling zombie with piss-stained trousers realised the consequences of his cowardice over Lisbon?

It means he'll lose his place at the top table at the IMF. And at the World Bank. And there'll be no more G8 or G20 struttings for poor Gordoom. He and the poisonous dwarf Sarkozy and the housefrau Merkel and Signor Sleaze Berlusconi will all become redundant, replaced by some completely unknown compromise candidate from Benelux with a name like Van der Wanker.

However, his support for Presidente Bliar has practically ensured the elevation of the banana waving gurning twat Millipede Senior to EUSSR High Representative, so he'll be able to watch the little alien strutting about on his television back in Kirkaldy in his forced retirement and reflect on how he completely fucked up everything he touched.

The Penguin

Christ On A Bike, How Many More?

Are all the "noble peers" as bent as safety-pins?

Seems you can hardly look at a newspaper (online, fucked if I'm buying any of them!) without there being yet another fucking trough-pig in ermine caught stealing in one way or another. There are so many of them using the "little house in the country" dodge that I suspect it's listed in the Idiot guide to the House Of Lords given to them when they first turn up.

Just look at the fucking poverty dripping of this pair of cunts! Nice house in Clapham bought outright with no mortgage in the 90's for half a million, and he claims to be fucking poverty-stricken? I hope there's a few lamp-posts on his fashionable street...

The Penguin