Sunday, 11 January 2009

Knock Knock! Who's There? The Food Waste Police!!

Following on from the amazing plans to send Blears-Plods round to help the work shy get up and ready for non existent jobs, a wonderful new job creation scheme is announced to a fanfare of ridicule.

8 "inspectors" are to be given a whole day of training and sent out to go door to door for 7 weeks on a massive hourly rate of £8.49, to train hard working families how to waste less food and eat more scraps. Their target is announced as 24,500 homes in this trial period.

That works out at 24,500 divided by 8 inspectors = 3,062.5 per inspector. 7 weeks gives each inspector a target of 437.5 homes per week. Working 7 days a week that's 62.5 homes per day. If they worked 24 hours a day that's 2.6 homes to train per hour, or 23 minutes per home.

Fucking good going, I'd say. But what can you teach someone in 23 minutes?

And will these super-human inspectors also have Police escorts? Because I can imagine the welcome they are going to get in some quarters!!

The Penguin

NB Reprinted over at Old Holborn's place with a truly horrific picture.


IanPJ said...

I see a diet of Borsch and Cabbage Soup supplemented by turnip for us all very soon, cooked over the non-existent candles that we soon wont be able to buy, as our Gas is hijacked by the EU for the Germans.

At what point does the population stand up and say ENOUGH.

Fidothedog said...

At least the local pitbulls on the sink estate will be fed.


So they're going to train them to turn the remains of last night's take away into a nice bit of "bubble and squeak" are they?

The Penguin said...

Apparently the vile sounding Scotchland equivalent of "bubble and squeak" is the McBroon's all time favourite recipe, as given by the Snot Gobbler to some charity recipe book. Probably just the innate meanness (Sp?) in his DNA. This is the man who published a scrounger's bible including blagging your way into parties with a carrier bag of empties and a brick.

microdave said...

But thanks to the working time directive they wouldn't be allowed to do more than 48hrs/week, so that knocks the time per household down to 6 and a half minutes....

North Northwester said...

But what can you teach someone in 23 minutes?

I'm not a violent man, but here goes...

Molotov cocktails, 5 minutes.

Web search for 10 Downing Street, 3 minutes.

Tube from much of central London 15 minutes?

For the good things in life there's Texaco, and for everything else there's Mastercard.

it's either banned or compulsory said...

I mentioned this to some of the girls in the office; their response was both predictable and lurid.