Thursday, 29 January 2009

NuLiebore Nu Plan To Beat Child Poverty

Ed Blinky Balls, Minister For Child Abuse, today unveiled NuLiebore's New Masterplan for beating child poverty and achieving Mad McBroon's promise of lifting 62,000,000 children out of poverty by 1967.

Any poor children identified by his crack teams of Inspectors (seconded from Ofsted, so we know just how good they will be!) that cannot be adopted by gay men will have their organs harvested to sell to rich foreigners in need of spare part surgery. This will generate much needed revenue for the goldplated pensions of government ministers and former ministers, as there are some who foresee the gravy train leaving the rails. It will also reduce the burden on the tax payer by cutting child benefit payments, and will also allow loads of single mothers to return to all the new jobs that Gordon is busy creating.

Oh, and any very obese ones can become part of the biofuel project.

Bonuses all round!

The Penguin


Tory Poppins said...

Penguin - you have me in a state of perpetual stitchment!! Bravo once again!

polaris said...

Splenetic genius Penguin...

The Penguin said...

Why thank you kindly.

it's either banned or compulsory said...

Can someone please explain to me how you can end relative child poverty? Surely at any given time or place a certain % of children will always be within lower earning groups ? The only thing that can change is the overall income of that and other groups.

The only way that I can think of is to exterminate or prohibit children in those groups earning less than others, I don't think that counts as Socialism but perhaps I missed something.

The Penguin said...


The standard distribution curve applies tothis as to most anything. Equality is a strange concept.