Thursday, 15 January 2009

Translating From Brownspeak to English

This is a helpful guide to translating from Brownspeak to English. First I give the Brownspeak word or phrase, and then the English translation.

Please note that I am not going multicultural with this guide, if you want it in Urdu, then pay for it yourself. Here we are an integrated blog, in England, using English.

The Guide (please feel free to suggest other words and phrases in the comments, I will add them to the Guide if I think they are apt)

Announce = re-announce for umpteenth time
Invest = piss money away on social engineering projects
Government of All the Talents = bunch of cronies
Improvement = disaster
Moral Compass = complete lack of direction
No More Boom and Bust = Usual Labour Fuck Up, but Bigger
Consultation = smokescreen
Global Credit Crunch = Worst Recession in living memory
Quantative Easing = printing money
Economic Miracle = fiddled statistics
Well placed to survive the GCC = completely fucked
Started in America = caused by the Treasury
Prudence = incompetence
VAT reduction = useless and ineffective bribe
No More Spin = even more spin, but not very effective
No More Celebrity Culture = ooooh, is Amy Whitehouse free?
Do Nothing Tories = have you got any ideas I can steal?
My family are not props = quick, get me a photo opportunity
£5 a week or £275 a year = proof I am crap at basic mathematics
No one will be worse off = apart from all the poorer people who will be worse off
1,000 troops home by Christmas = I never said WHICH Christmas
No early election = behind in the polls and feart
Courage = something I have not got
I am not Gay = I'm as bent as Mandelson

The Penguin


Bill d'Sarse said...

Hello, it is so nice to visit this prosperous company.

You are about to be closed down.

Fidothedog said...

Just like Ken who showed Gordon around the Western Mail, he was laid off!

But back to the post how about "Green shoots of recovery" = We are broke and can't pay back the national debt.

Bill d'Sarse said...

I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm,....

I'm, desperately trying to remember what was to told to repeat ad nauseam.

Earthlet Nigel said...

GOATs= Gorgons Arselicking Twats

Broon Bounce; drop him from a great height onto concrete, I#ll wager he won't bounce, any takers?

Earthlet Nigel said...

1000 Troops home by Christmas, yeah via Afghanistan, somewhen

Cato said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cato said...

To paraphrase Robbie Burns...'A hoon's a hoon for all that'