Monday, 12 January 2009

Fwiday Night With Jonathan Woss And Someone?

It seems that Tom Cruise is getting cold feet about appearing on the Jonathan Woss Show after hearing about the lewd telephone messages left on Andrew Sachs telephone answering machine, the charming episode which saw the potty mouthed cretin Russell Brand sacked and gobshite Woss suspended for 3 months.

Cruise's agent appears to have objected to the suggested lines of questioning that Woss had pwoposed. Nothing contwoversial about Scientology, or the strwange and inexplicable death of John Twavolta's autistic son suwwounded by male "nannies" with no discernable medical or childcare qualifications, no, the difficulties seem to have been over Woss wanting to discuss Tom's wanking habits. For example, did he jack off to thoughts of Jackie Onassis when he was a boy, and does Angelina Jolie do it for him now?

Management at the BBC are said to be extwemely wowwied.

The Penguin

Update - Agweement has be weached not to have any weference to wanking.


Chalcedon said...

I haven't missed the bastard. He can stay off for all I'm concerned.

North Northwester said...

I'd like to wank on Jonathan Ross.

No, really.
Not for home-erotic purposes, but rather to see the expression on his face when he wakes up and realises he's closed his mouth just a leetle beet too late...

it's either banned or compulsory said...

I don't care because, not having a telly, I don't contribute to the immoral earnings of Woss.