Thursday, 19 March 2009

Drains! I Fucking Hate Them!!


Last New Year's Day (2008) we had the unalloyed pleasure of raw sewage backing up in our soil stack thanks to the grandchildren's enjoyment of multiple wetwipes as they transfered from nappies to using the toilet. The ensuite bathroom joins the soil stack via a macerator, and the Precious Chick enjoying a shower therein brought matters to a head, as it were, and the toilet in the main bathroom vomited all over the floor, and through the kitchen ceiling. This was in fact two ceilings, being the original crusted with artex (surely the Devil's Spunk?) complete with fluorescent tube, and the suspended tongue-and-groove that I had put in when I remodelled the kitchen around 1990.

Emergency drainage engineers on New Year's Day - wonderful start to the Year. Took them two visits as well. Then there was the snotty loss adjuster and the Irish Builders.

However, on the plus side, Madam got a nice new plasterboard ceiling and everything painted white. (One of my reasons for insisting I liked the darkening T&G was not wanting to have to do the work to change anything, so a decent result!) Plus new carpets to landings and staircase, and new vinyl in hall and kitchen. And a team of specialist cleaners to fumigate affected areas and cavities.

Wetwipes banished from the toilet, special wetwipe bin beside toilet, all OK so far.

Today I was removing pieces of "come in handy one day" timber from the conservatory to a temporary pile in the back garden when I noticed an unpleasant smell, and on investigation, great joy, the drain taking all but the soil stack is blocked and there's a small lake of filthy light grey water and "stuff" spreading across the area between kitchen wall and garden gate.

I have poured a large amount of "guaranteed to unblock drains" stuff into the drain, which has had little effect as yet (two hours) except to turn the water a nasty brown colour. The destructions did say it might take "over-night" to have the desired effect. Fingers crossed.

In the meantime, no use of kitchen sinks, or bath or handbasin in bathroom, or dishwasher, or washing machine.

Thank goodness the ensuite is still fully functional!

I fucking hate drains, they are such a stinking pain when problems occur.

The Penguin

17 comments:

Dennis said...

I hate to say it, but your brickwork's looking a bit dodgy, too.

The Penguin said...

That's not my drain, or my brickwork.

A photograph of my drain would not be in the "best possible taste" at the moment.

Rightwinggit said...

Nice begonias in the pic...

Oh and wipes clearly state you should not deep six them unless they are bog friendly.

Your bog pipes were laid in the 40's/50's, right?

The Penguin said...

No, the bog pipes are currently working fine, it's the other drain that has a blockage.

The house dates from 1898 or so and all the underground stuff is original.

If the chemical bomb doesn't work I might have to rig up a speaker and play some Blaster Bates tapes to it...

Rightwinggit said...

THAT old??

Salt glaze on the pipe surfaces, like fired grit, catches fibres like nothing. Something peroxide based might work, if not baking soda and vinegar down the drain one after the other, then fuck off quick.

Dennis said...

Fuck off double-quick would be my plan, RWG.

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

I didn't know Jonah brown did drains.

The Penguin said...

I can assure you that I would not let Jonah anywhere near my property, family, or cats.

The cats are not much help with this problem, in fact they compound things as I have to jury rig stuff to keep them from exploring too closely...

I have just thrown another litre or so of "guaranteed to destroy your drains" liquid into the festering hole.

Fingers crossed.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you should try bypassing the drain entirely and get yourself a good bucket. It also has the added advantage of doubling up as a washing up bowl.

Faux Cu said...

Seriously

I have a sceptic tank, it talks to me and goes on strike.

So I bought a Karcher and a long tubey thing with an end nozzle which squirts backwards.

It cost me €150 cash to get the local Frog drainsunblocker man to do and he still only comes after 7 days of pleading.

I bought kit and although messy it does the job when necessary.

I have honestly now set up a company here which grows and sells bacteria mixes which keep pipes and septic tanks clean and working. They work and now I am looking to treat industrial waste water for real money.


You have access to my logon details?

Send me an e-mail and if you want I'll get a couple of samples for you, after you've done a D & C on the drain,

WV DERANCUL

Kronos said...

I have similar drain blocking problems - I ended up buying a set of rods filthy work but pretty much guaranteed to work. The drain unblocker liquid (sulphuric acid) is pretty hopeless.

Dennis said...

Faux Cu, I used to buy some goo like that for my septic tank, but it didn't seem to do anything particular except cost money. Can't remember the name offhand, but the company used to advertise in the Sunday papers and is/was based in Southampton (or nearby).

Pengy, I have drain rods and can recommend them. If you do buy a set, get the claw thing as well as the rubber disk and the brass hemidisk, AND FOR FUCK'S SAKE KEEP A CLOCKWISE TWIST ON THEM while poking around!

Anonymous said...

5 years ago, blocked drains, called out drainage company, 10 minutes later all clear. One year later, called out drainage company, camera down tubes showed root penetration, he didn't want to use the root cutter as it was liable to crack the pipes, so he again forced a passage through. Since then, every three months I chuck a handful of copper sulphate down the drain (kills root growth) and no problem since.

Cost of replacing drains £3500
Cost of 5kg CuSO4 £25

Oh, and the drainage engineer refused any payment, as I had previously fixed his wifes laptop gratis.

The Penguin said...

I've been avoiding the drain rods up to now, but will have to go that route if still an issue when daylight arrives.

And yes, Dennis, the clockwise turn is key!

The Penguin said...

No progress whatsover!

Herself has called in the outside expert. No faith. I suppose I'm relieved - but it's still going to be me clearing up the mess.

Fingers crossed for some torrential rain!

Faux Cu said...

My stuff is weapons grade, real nuclear stuff.

Not the piss poor stuff over the internet and Daily Liar

Rightwinggit said...

This mob do Lockfasts...

http://www.bes.co.uk/products/218.asp