Buying Floor Coverings? Beware Allied Carpets Sub-Contractors!

It never rains but it pours, or some such cliche. And yes, I know that should be an e-acute, but I don't know how to achieve one typing here, and I can't be arsed.

Not only the drains, but today was supposed to be a major staging post in the conservatory revamp that Herself is project managing. I'm the labourer. And the carpenter, and the electrician. But I don't do cutting and laying of vinyl flooring at £22 a square metre for it is a job needing many many hours of experience to do well.

By some small miracle SWMBO had found the right size of end-of-roll to match the Kitchen, and 9am Today was supposed to be delivery and fitting, after a small amount of patching of the floor screed, approx 2 square metres, where the previous flooring had "gone around" built in units now removed. So we cleared the conservatory, moving a large pine armoire, a fridge, a freezer, sundry pot plants, all the cats' requisites, occasional table, and a butcher's block into the kitchen and sitting room, thoroughly cluttering the place up.

By 10am Madam was on the 'phone to Allied Carpets (name kept the same to embarrass the incompetent) to ask where the vinyl fitters were, and why were they not here getting on (as the screed takes around 6 hours to dry). Various bollocks and poor excuses later, some cocky young git called James from some firm of carpet fitters contracted to Allied Carpets turns up with an even younger side kick. Lots of teeth sucking and tutting. He didn't do screeding. So after telephone calls and a promise that a manager would call Herself within the hour, they buggered off.

The the drainage engineer turned up, and dealt with the blockage, leaving me with a horrendous smelly foul mess to clear up. Herself's most recent garden scheme was Mediterranean or something and involved cobbles and patches of "decking" amongst the stones. Over time, leaf fall and worms and stuff had built a layer of fresh new soil under the stones. A large area of stones and soil and several pieces of decking were contaminated with filthy greasy disgusting stinking residue from the waste disposal unit and the dishwasher and the kitchen sinks. 20 rubble sacks are now hidden in the alley. I think She thinks they are going to the Recycling Dump in the back of the Volvo, but they will be quietly shoved in the "land fill wheelie" over the course of the next few weeks if it is left to me. Thank God for Jeyes Fluid!

Telephone Wars broke out when no-one called back about the screeding and the vinyl. I know from experience that it is simpler to give in and saves a lot of ear ache; although I do have to subvert many of the wilder schemes as they would require sky-hooks and other amendments to the laws of physics. As luck would have it, the estimator at Allied Carpets knew they were bang to rights in the wrong and was bright enough to save his manager from a very unpleasant experience, by finding a man-who-can-screed within an hour. However, it won't be until tomorrow afternoon that he can return and lay the vinyl (assuming Allied have got the vinyl back from James, who has done himself and his outfit no favours with the estimator) .

The Precious Chick is working late tonight, so we have the twins to collect from their child minder and look after and put to bed. Woman's work, in the main.

But it is going to be a right pain trying to cook tonight*, I really don't want to have to move everything back into the conservatory and then move it out again tomorrow. And there's no play space for the small monsters until late Saturday, so there'll be ructions.

Best laid plans.

The Penguin

*Sausages, Oven-grilled Vegetables, Mashed Potato, Onion Gravy.