Sunday, 4 January 2009

The Man Who Wasn't There Loses His Wallet

Poor little Jimmy Purnell, notorious for not being there, seems to have another unfortunate habit, that of losing things.

A while ago, it was ministerial papers from his red box left on a train. The other day it was his wallet, complete with Parliamentary Security Pass.

This is the Jimmy Purnell who planned to charge folk on benefits 27% interest per year on emergency loans, currently free, when the BoE are slashing interest rates to 2% (soon to be zero percent, any takers?). What a Hoon, as they say elsewhere. Mind you, as soon as the media got hold of the story he shoved a junior minister out to take the flack, despite it being his very own signature on the proposal.

The same cunt wants to retrain all those on Job Seekers Allowance to try and "help" them back into employment. I can't fucking wait to see what they offer me should the job market not pick up for 50-something Chartered Accountants with a degree in Education. It was almost amusing trying to educate the poor bemused "consultant" down at the Dole Office as to why it was not sensible for me to apply for a job as an accounts clerk, and how the economic rule of comparative advantage rather implies that I have to apply for jobs that I am qualified to do, rather than ones where I am massively over-qualified. Then she said that I had to have several "jobs" that I was prepared to consider on the forms, rather than just one. So we ended up with Financial Controller, Group Financial Controller, Finance Director, Chief Accountant, Finance Manager, Financial Analyst, Financial Reporting Manager, Financial Accountant, Management Accountant, Internal Auditor and Divisional Financial Accountant.

The Penguin


Anonymous said...


have you tried bullshitting your way into jobs for which you are underqualified?

It works for the politicians!

The Scumbag said...

I'm surprised they didn't make you put "clerical work" on your "jobs wot I will look for" card since that's almost a default one for anyone who wears a tie in the course of the job

Most people working in jobcentres are low-paid clerical and admin staff with little imagination and are a pushover if you can string words with more than 3 syllables together. And Purnell would barely make a competent filing clerk in even the shitest office

Faux Cul said...

Couldn't you become a politician?

Naw, you are overqualified and have actually had a real job before.

Trixy said...

Whenever I see your blog am just reminded of that all time classic line:

"Where is my son? I vant him to marry zis rosebush."

Why don't you apply for the job of assisting James Purnell not to lose everything he is put in charge of?

Except, one hopes, his seat at the next election..

it's either banned or compulsory said...

On what grounds can you refuse to consider work as an 'escort' or other work in neo-prostitution as favoured by Purnells Government ?

The Penguin said...

Aesthetic grounds, being plug ugly.