Sunday, 26 April 2009

What's That Fucking Awful Stench?


Warning! The so-called Titan Arum, Amorphophallus Titanum Brownensis, which comes into season once every 4 or 5 years when circumstances force it to achieve an election, is shortly going to be going tumescent.

A native originally of Scotlandshire, the Titan has been transplanted into Whitehall, an area of London infamous for being infested with various pernicious pests, where it has unfortunately thrived in the fetid conditions.

The Titan exudes an unpleasant smell at all times, but when in "flower" the stench is almost unbearable, and attracts carrion beetles and vultures who fight over the rancid emissions.
Best avoided.

The Penguin

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Gorgon and Mandy have just been to James Purnells flat for lunch.

Gigits said...

I bet the Titan Arum doesn't smell as bad as the Cyclops' nappy.

Tory Poppins said...

Mandy's just got a whiff of the snot-gobblers rancid wet pants!

Odin's Raven said...

Noxious weeds and public nuisances both of them.

Oldrightie said...

You are all wrong. Mandy's suddenly remembered what they used to get up to together.