The Ultimate Snap?

Story Here

The Penguin

Stop The Benefits and Render The Fat Useless Blob Down FOr Bio-Diesel

This fat cow is taking the piss out of everyone who pays taxes.

She is a complete waste of skin - fucking lots of skin.
Mind you, Tesco will be sorry to see her rendered down into bio-diesel. Still, every little helps.

The Penguin

Beware Thomas And Stanley Scammers

Full Story Here.

The Penguin

So Much For Reform

Three Little Pigs To Be Slaughtered

With any luck the contempt for the electorate that members of the committee of MPs chaired by John Bercow, the new Speaker, and including Harriet Harman, the Labour Leader of the House and Alan Duncan, the Tory frontbencher, will be reflected back at them come the election, and they will be booted out.
These fucking trough pigs just don't get it. We're not prepared to tolerate their thieving any longer.

The Penguin

A Yellow Streak Where His Backbone Should Be!

Postman Prat, the idiot who trod the streets shoving letters through letterboxes for several years as his tiny brain worked through the possibilities of getting a nice cushy desk job as a union representative with few dogs biting him and no rain, clearly demonstrates that he has similar reserves of courage to the current Prime Mentalist.

Despite the clear advice of some of the top legal eagles in the country, this cowardly wanker claims that he can't do anything about the ludicrous extradition of a harmless computer nerd who embarrassed the Septics, and so he dare not meet the bloke's mum to tell her to her face that he's a useless waste of space.

Ideal Prime Mentalist material.

The Penguin

M'Learned Friends In The Shit

Well, what a surprise.

The convicted fraudster and fake legal eagle is shown up for the crook he is, which must be a tad embarrassing for his friends such as Oily Greaser Keith Vaz and clients like Tariq "The Victim" Ghaffur.

It can only be assumed that m'learned friends who have been representing him are doing out of the pure goodness of their hearts, because sure as shit is brown they'll be waiting a long time to get paid.

The Penguin

The Dwarf Froglet Hospitalised

That well known Hungarian adulterer and husband of the slapper songstress Carla Bruni, President Sarkozy has been rushed to hospital.

Doctors examined him and noted that he was short of breath. But then they measured him and noticed he was also short of height.

The Penguin

Balls Gets The Poison In!

In the aftermath of the byelection car crash Ed"Blinkly" Balls is quick to assert his right to inherit the mantle of unelected Great Leader by knifing Little Jimmy Purnell.

“There are times when individuals in their early 40s have crises. They buy motorbikes or go off and travel round the world and have a gap year. Or they have a sex change operation, or discover their inner gay. Sometimes people do that. I don’t think for political parties to have those kinds of moments is very sensible, especially when you are at your moment of greatest crisis and instability.

Now is not the time to be going off to some fat dodgy therapist to find out what your identity really is.

A lot of people are looking into themselves… and saying, 'When shall we stab Gordon?’ They will make decisions which are right for them, right for the country and right for the Labour Party.”

So weak, Blinky.

The Penguin

Worst Recession Since Records Began?

Thank Goodness That Gordon Did Away With Boom And Bust, Or We'd Really Be In The Cack!

1) Tony Blair: 1997 Conference Speech

"I want this to be the New Labour Government that ended Tory boom and bust forever."

2) Gordon Brown: July 1997

"Today, the Bank of England has agreed with me that, if we are to prevent the cycle of boom and bust, inflationary pressures in the economy, which the previous Government negligently failed to tackle, must be brought under control "

3) Gordon Brown: November 1997

"I am satisfied that the new monetary policy arrangements will deliver long-term price stability, and prevent a return to the cycle of boom and bust."

4) Gordon Brown: April 1998

"We will not return to the stop-go, boom-bust years which we saw under the Conservatives. "

5) Gordon Brown: May 1998

"The Government have put in place policies to deliver that objective and are determined to avoid a return to boom and bust."

6) Gordon Brown: June 1998

"rigorous financial discipline that, together with monetary stability, ends once and for all the boom and bust that for 30 years has undermined stability "

7) Tony Blair: February 1999

"Moreover, for decades we have been prone to far greater swings in the economic cycle than our continental counterparts. It has been boom and bust....Under this Government, there is an entirely new framework for economic management in place "

8) Ruth Kelly: November 1999

"The Government have rejected the boom and bust of the Conservative party "

9) Tony Blair: November 1999

"We have the best chance of ending boom and bust in years."

10) Gordon Brown: November 1999

"Indeed, Britain was set to repeat the old, familiar cycle of boom and bust. Since then, we have created and rigorously adhered to a new framework of modern economic management "

10) Alistair Darling: January 2000

"On top of that, we have a healthy and stable economy and an end to the boom and bust that characterised the Tory years."

11) Alan Johnson: February 2000

"The Government's first priority on coming to office was to secure long-term economic stability and put an end to the damaging cycle of boom and bust."

12) Gordon Brown: March 2000

"Britain does not want a return to boom and bust. "

13) Tony Blair: 2000 Conference Speech

"The first big choice: a government with the strength to deliver stability, or a government that takes the country back to boom and bust."

14) Gordon Brown: November 2000

"Our approach is to reject the old vicious circle of the '80s--rising debt, higher long-term interest rates, higher debt repayment costs, lower growth, higher unemployment, then enforced cuts in public spending. That was the old boom and bust."

15) Gordon Brown: March 2001

"We will not return to boom and bust."

16) Ruth Kelly: May 2002

"We must avoid a return to the days of boom and bust that manufacturers had to endure for a long time under the Conservatives."

17) Yvette Cooper: May 2004

"We know that they want to turn the clock back, but it would be foolish to turn it back to a policy of boom and bust."

18) John Prescott : January 2005

"Labour economic stability has replaced Tory boom and bust "

19) Tony Blair: 2005 Conference Speech

"In the first two terms we corrected the weaknesses of the Tory years: boom-and-bust economics "

20) Alistair Darling: March 2005

"As I said, there are two approaches—first, a strong economy, stability and helping families or, secondly, the Tory cuts, the undermining of stability, and a return to the boom and bust of the 1990s."

21) Gordon Brown: March 2006

"I have said before: no return to boom and bust."

22) Gordon Brown: December 2006

"Boom and bust is a term that applied to the Conservative years and two of the worst recessions in history"

23) Gordon Brown: March 2007

"We will not return to the old boom and bust."

24) Alistair Darling: June 2007

"...acknowledges the outstanding performance of the economy under this Government with the longest unbroken economic expansion on record, in contrast to the boom and bust of the previous Government "

Well, they certainly seem to have abolished the boom.

The Penguin

Here We Go Again!

It seems that the fucking "experts" learn nothing from history.

Despite the self-evident stupidity of introducing alien creatures into a country where they don't belong and where they are going to have a completely unknown and probabaly deleterious effect on the native flora and fauna, the imbeciles are planning yet another miracle cure.

I expect the Cane Toads in Australia will be laughing when they hear about it.

The Penguin

Council Cunt Of The Day

The prize goes to Mid Sussex District Council's head of organisational development, Marissa Bartlett, for defending the indefensible despite all the evidence.

And costing her ratepayers a small fortune whilst demonstrating her own imcompetence and fuckwittery.

The Penguin

Just When You Think It Can't Get Any Worse

"So I ripped him a new arsehole, about this big!"

Along comes the revelation by Postman Prat that his little Phil Woolas has handed over half a million quid in compensation to foreign criminals who he was a bit slow in deporting.

Half a fucking million paid out for the sheer incompetence of wankers in the UK Border Agency!

It's not rocket science, is it? Foreign criminal finishes jail sentence, put the cunt on a plane, make sure their passport is marked "Criminal, Not Welcome In Britain!". Job done. Simples.

The Penguin

Gordon, No One Believes You Any More

His Gob's Open, Therefore He's Lying

If indeed they were ever mug enough to in the first place. Let's face it, there were enough clues about the dodgy nature of his "moral compass" such as his squalid little booklet about how to cheat the system and blag your way into parties.

But now, despite the surprising and cowardly volte face by Lord Mallarchy-Broon after a very very clear admission that there were simply not enough helicopters in Afghanistan, and very clear and straight-forward demands by General Sir Richard Dannatt and the previously silent and invisible Air Whatsit Sir Jock Strap for more helicopters, what does our Glorious Leader do?

Lies his fucking face off.

Only to be immediately contradicted by the bloke who was up the sharp end in Helmand, which kind of blows Jonah's line about what the folk at the front tell him clean out of the water.

If you can't stop telling lies, Jonah, just crawl away quietly and die slowly in agony.

The Penguin

Who The Fuck Do You Think You Are?

"Here y'are, lad; give me that, lad"

I think Steven Gerrard is an arrogant over-rated cunt.

I hope the jury find him guilty and the judge has the bottle to bang him up for 6 months.

Sadly I suspect he'll get a slap on the wrist and 5 minutes of community litter picking.

The Penguin

Great, And Don't Forget, Points Mean Prizes!!

Super new game now available in Calais!

Run down some illegal immigrants.

You know it makes sense, and the French authorities will even give you a free bottle of Vin de Table* for every one you hit, and a free bottle of Marc de Bourgogne** for every fatality.

They don't want the bastards any more than we do.

So get over there and get some cheap booze!

The Penguin

* Cooking plonk
** Paint Stripper

Serious Fuckwittery!

Have these people never seen "Terminator"?

The Penguin

Jobsworth Cunt Of The Day

Congratulations to James Duncan, transport manager for Bournemouth Council. You are a cunt of the very top grade. And a stupidly costly option for tax payers.

I hope you get cancer.

The Penguin

Just What The Fuck Do They Do?

According to a Parliamentary Answer, Jack Straw's department, which was created only two years ago, employs a staggering 970 personnel staff, out of a total of 3,680 officials.

Robert Blevin, of the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development, tells me that a private company with a similar number of staff would be expected to employ about 40 people in human resources.

What on earth do they actually do?

The Penguin

Hello, Is That HMRC? I Want To Report Some Tax Evasion...

The publication of "details" of the BBC top brass's expenses is going to cause a degree of embarrassment.

Hopefully it won't end there. HMRC should get in there and stick the bastards with the bill for all those taxable benefits under the standard PAYE compliance rules. I doubt it these troughers have special legislation to protect them. Then there's all the luvvies and their agents being excessively wined and dined and entertained. Surely some of that has got to fall into the taxable benefit bracket?

The Penguin

Mission Impossible - Polishing A Turd

No wonder that there is an ever-growing cost for Gordon "Jonah" McBroon's growing army of spin doctors. This, you'll recall is the Prime Mentalist who doesn't do spin. Or tell lies, or pick his nose, or bite his nails, or throw Nokias, or know what his aides like McBride are up to, or suck celebrity cock.

Fact is, no matter how many of them work ever harder, you can't polish a turd.

The Penguin

What A Farce! No Wonder The Public No Longer Respect Or Support The Police!

Some geezer's private 30th birthday party barbecue with 17 guests in a field was gate-crashed by a ludicrous number of policemen, including a fucking helicopter, and shut down for being an illegal rave.

The spokesweasel tied herself in knots trying to justify the nonsense.

Yet phone the bastards because there's an intruder in your house or you have been burgled and you'll wait 3 weeks for some victim support circular to be shove through the letterbox.

Meanwhile your council tax goes ever up to pay for all their toys.

The Penguin

Poor "Sir" Ian Bliar - Too Teflon For The Whitewash To Stick!

You have to feel deeply for poor embarrassed "Sir" Ian Bliar, NuLiebore's favourite ex-Inspector Knacker.

His claims to have been exonerated by the report into contracts awarded to his mate by his long time friend "Sir" Ronny Flannel seem to have been premature and exaggerated, to say the least.

Things are at a pretty pass when the whitewash just won't stick.

He'll just have to cuddle up to his enormous pension for comfort.

The Penguin

Cunt Watch

Keep your eyes peeled!

The way these imbeciles seem to percolate from one fuck up to another, they are bound to pop up somewhere to enjoy more of your taxes while being worse than useless.

Mark Haysom, who was paid over £200,000 a year as head of the biggest quango wasted hundreds of millions of pounds through ' catastrophic mismanagement' of a flagship college building programme. Then when it went tits up he was paid £100,000 to fuck off quietly.

Overseeing this fiasco was the invisible minister John Denham, aided and abetted by Permanent Secretaries Ian Watmore and Sir Jon Shortridge.

Coming to a quango near you in the weeks ahead, NuLiebore looks after it's own, no matter how useless they are. How else can you explain the presence in the House of Lords of the fucking Kinnocks?

The Penguin

Helicopters, Prime Mentalist, Helicopters!

How much longer is Jonah going to keep denying the bleeding obvious?

British troops are placed in harm's way because they are having to travel by road instead of by helicopter. It's not a new thing, check out what happened in Northern Ireland.

So why is the deluded cunt still endlessly lying?

Is it because he is directly responsible for cutting the budgets for helicopters when he was busy abolishing boom and bust?

The Penguin

Spineless Lying Hypocrites.

How can you tell if your MP is lying to you? Safest just to assume they are, because no matter what they say to you, or even commit to in writing, when it comes to a vote in the House of Shame they'll just meekly do what they are told.
Here's the proof.

Eighty-two Labour MPs signed three Parliamentary motions, dating back to 2005, opposing the Extradition Act and sending Gary McKinnon to the U.S. for trial.

But only eight of them had the integrity to back the Tory Opposition Day call for an 'immediate review' of the one-sided treaty. Of the other 74 Labour backbenchers, 59 displayed rank hypocrisy by supporting the Government. Another 15 abstained.

TURNCOATS

Diane Abbott (Hackney North and Stoke Newington), David Anderson (Blaydon), John Austin (Erith and Thamesmead), Joe Benton (Bootle), Clive Betts (Sheffield Attercliffe), Lyn Brown (West Ham), Russell Brown (Dumfries and Galloway), Richard Burden (Birmingham Northfield), Dawn Butler (Brent South), Martin Caton (Gower), Ann Cryer (Keighley), Jim Cunningham (Coventry South)

Quentin Davies (Grantham and Stamford), Janet Dean (Burton), Jim Dowd (Lewisham West), Jeff Ennis (Barnsley East and Mexborough), Hywel Francis (Aberavon), Neil Gerrard (Walthamstow), Roger Godsiff (Birmingham Sparkbrook and Small Heath), Helen Goodman (Bishop Auckland), John Grogan (Selby), Patrick Hall (Bedford), David Heyes (Ashton under Lyne), Kelvin Hopkins (Luton North), Joan Humble (Blackpool North and Fleetwood), Brian Iddon (Bolton South East), Eric Illsley (Barnsley East)

Glenda Jackson (Hampstead and Highgate), Brian Jenkins (Tamworth), Martyn Jones (Clwyd South), Sadiq Khan ( Tooting), Mark Lazarowicz (Edinburgh North and Leith), Tony Lloyd ( Manchester Central), Kerry McCarthy (Bristol East), Jim McGovern (Dundee West), Anne McGuire ( Stirling), Shahid Malik (Dewsbury), Gordon Marsden (Blackpool South), Anne Moffat (East Lothian), Madeleine Moon (Bridgend), Julie Morgan (Cardiff North), George Mudie (Leeds East)

Nick Palmer (Broxtowe), Gordon Prentice (Pendle), Joan Ruddock (Lewisham Deptford), Joan Ryan (Enfield North), Martin Salter (Reading West), Andy Slaughter (Ealing, Acton and Shepherd's Bush), John Smith ( Glamorgan), Sir Peter Soulsby (Leicester South), Gavin Strang (Edinburgh East)

David Taylor (North West Leicestershire), Desmond Turner (Brighton Kemptown), Rudi Vis (Finchley and Golders Green), Lynda Waltho (Stourbridge), Bob Wareing (Liverpool West Derby), Betty Williams (Conway), Anthony Wright (Great Yarmouth), Iain Wright (Hartlepool).

ABSTAINERS

Roger Berry (Kingswood), Roberta Blackman-Woods (City of Durham), Harry Cohen (Leyton and Wanstead), Andrew Dismore (Hendon), Bill Etherington (Sunderland North), Frank Field (Birkenhead), Fabian Hamilton (Leeds North East), John Heppell (Nottingham East), Peter Kilfoyle (Liverpool Walton), Christine McCafferty (Calder Valley), Bob Marshall-Andrews ( Medway), Chris Mullin (Sunderland South), Edward O'Hara (Knowsley South), Marsha Singh (Bradford West), Mike Wood (Batley and Spen).

The Penguin

This Should Be Extremely Amusing!

"By then Tugger's todger was like this!"

The civil servant that Jackboots had arrested and then sacked for leaking documents to Damien Green is leading a private prosection of the former Home Economics Secretary over the fraudulent nature of her "second home" claims.

You couldn't make it up and be believed.

The Penguin

Jobsworth Of The Day

Step forward Colchester councillor Tim Young.

You utter arsewipe.

The Penguin

Postman Prat Reveals He's As Thick As A Parcel Of Planks

"I've got a tiny penis as well!"

Well, they do say give them enough rope and they'll hang themselves. Postman Prat has not only undermined the hapless and hopeless Phil Woolas who has often said he will not allow immigration to push the population to 70 million, he has shown that he is either massively ignorant or totally in denial about the real issues surrounding the immigration debate.

The government's own figures, analysed and simplified by Fraser Nelson over at the Spectator, show that immigrants have taken 106% of all the "new jobs" created since 1997 and that they are not net contributors to the economy. They are huge contributors to the crime wave that is engulfing our towns and cities, and if we could deport the bastards we'd not have over-crowded prisons.

But never mind the reality, Postman Prat lives in a protected bubble, a veritable paradise of privilege and allowances, disconnected from the proles he expects to vote for his continued life of luxury.

I hope that once thrown from office he gets stabbed in the street by some Somalian refugee.

The Penguin

No Matter How He Wriggles, These Are Gordon's Corpses

It doesn't matter how he duck and dives and lies and wriggles. The casualties and the injured and the traumatised from both Iraq and Afghanistan are the direct responsibility of that one-eyed snot-gobbling wankstain Jonah McBroon.

It was Jonah who slashed Defence Spending despite agreeing to send our Armed Forces into harm's way so that Bliar could keep sucking Bush's knob, ensuring that they had the wrong kit and insufficient kit. It was Jonah who was asked for 2,000 additional soldiers but would only pay for 700 on a temporary basis.

The cretin even had some ineffectual tosser from the Scotch Mafia as Secretary of State for Defence AND Secretary of State for Scotland, it was that unimportant to him. Now we have Bob Jobsworth, for fuck's sake, a complete nobody, barely able to string three words together.

In fact, typical of the socialists. The last Labour Secretary of Defence with any experience of the Armed Forces was Dennis Healey.

Jonah, how do you square these deaths and injuries with your famous moral compass?

I hope you get bowel cancer.

The Penguin

This Could Become Very Interesting

It seems that the raghead nutters are upset at the repression of their brothers in Islam in China's vast Empire, and are threatening jihad.

Now, the Chinese don't take too kindly to that sort of thing.

And there's no troop shortages or Jonah McBroon to pennypinch them out of doing the job. The Chinese Army could sort out the Muslim problem, and secure all the oil and gas they could ever want. They might even cut the price!

The Penguin

Just What You Want To Be

The Penguin

Who Do You Believe?

Details from the journal of a Welsh Guards platoon commander who died in May after being injured in Afghanistan were published last night.

Lieutenant Mark Evison, 26, wrote: “I have a lack of radios, water, food and medical equipment. This, with manpower, is what these missions lack. It is disgraceful to send a platoon into a very dangerous area with two weeks’ water and food and one team medics’ pack. Injuries will be sustained which I will not be able to treat and deaths will occur which could have been stopped. We are walking on a tightrope and from what it seems here are likely to fall unless drastic measures are undertaken.”

This is in direct contradiction of the spoutings of our Prime Mentalist, His Badger, and the Jobsworth, who repeatedly claim that our troops are well equipped and that they are given everything they ask for.

Someone is not telling the truth.

I know who I believe.

The Penguin

War Veterans Are To Be Thrown Out For Pikeys

Well, Jonah sets such a good example in the way he values our armed services while they are actually fighting and dying, what the fuck do you expect from local jobsworths?

Of course they are going to regard the fucking Pikey's "rights" as more important.

Fucking cunts.

The Penguin

Traffic Jam

The Penguin

Gordon Is A Moron

On the very day that the Army suffered it's highest casualties in Afghanistan, what does our wonderful Prime Mentalist say?

He says we are succeeding. Making "considerable progress".
Meanwhile the coffins come home, but there are never any politicians to welcome them. The charlatans claim that the troops have everything they need, that they are well equipped and properly resourced. It's not what the professionals say.

I know who I believe.

The Penguin

Slideshow?

Medieval Festivals

Testing...

Even better, check out http://www.flickr.com/photos/john_kennan/sets/72157606731020299/show/

The Penguin

I Was Pleased To Find This Gem

Those were the days. No lip synching.

The Penguin

Spot The Difference Part 95

One Civil Servant anonymously criticises expenses thief Hazel Blears and is sacked.

Another Civil Servant urges people to kill British and American soldiers, was suspended for 6 months and is now re-instated. So the cunt has had a six month fucking holiday!

Now, can you spot the difference?

The Penguin

Doctor David Kelly's Ghost Wont Lie Quiet!

"Can you see the blood on my hands?"

It seems that the evil triumvirate of Blair, Campbell, and Hoon and their unpleasant coterie are not "out of the woods" over the murder of David Kelly.

It seems that the blood is seeping through the whitewash.

The Penguin

Layla

The Penguin

To Tewkesbury!

Stepping back to 1471, to the decisive battle where the Lancastrians were routed by the Yorkists and Edward IV strengthened his claim to the throne.

You can check the details on Wikipedia!

The Penguin

The Curse Of McBroon Strikes Again!

"Did this used to be a good school before I visited it?"

Jonah really has the Midas-In-Reverse touch, doesn't he?

Just a few short weeks after he praises some "flagship" academy, inspectors condemn it as a failure.

If only the UK Borders Agency could keep the cunt out of the country for a few weeks, just think of the damage he could inflict on other people as opposed to on us.

The Penguin

The King Of Poppedhisclogs In Sand

The artist has not yet got to the small boy kneeling in front of Wacko Jacko.

The Penguin

Nice One, Bull.

I bet that stings a bit!

The Penguin

Just How Fucking Useless Brown Has Been Exposed

Not just "No More Boom and Bust" - Inequality, Poverty, Unemployment.

Fraser Nelson spells it out.

The Penguin

Council Jobsworth Alert!

This is the Mayor of Reigate and Banstead, whose officials sicked the Plod onto an ordinary bloke who was helping the community by organising football games for youngsters.

Now, apart from being stupidly officious, what the fucking hell do Surrey's "Finest" think they are doing getting involved in something so fucking silly? Have they no thieving pikeys to ignore for fear of having their helicopter vandalised? No motorists to give speeding tickets? No demonstrators to brutalise? No Brazilian electricians to shoot? No wonder Bob Quick wanted to go back to the Met!

The Penguin

Badger's Bastard Love Child?

Is the young actor who plays the nasty in the Potter Films really Alastair Darling's bastard love child?

The Penguin

Two Complete Nutters

Oh, and I wonder which of those medals the nutter on the right awarded himself for his minions shooting WPC Yvonne Fletcher?

The Star of Lockerbie is obvious.

The Penguin

Bringing A Bit Of Discipline Back Into The Classroom?

Now this may have got a bit out of hand.

But I suspect the victim won't be quite so lippy again.

The Penguin

Where The Buck Stops, Jonah, With You!

Now it's not just the likes of me and the posters on AARSE claiming that Gordon McBroon is directly responsible for the high casualties that the Army are suffering in Afghanistan.

Lord Guthrie seems to have decided to go public.

Not before time, he should have spoken out much earlier. And no wonder that Jonah keeps well clear of the coffins.

The Penguin

Yet More Cock Up At The Home Office

The Home Office have taken so long to process asylum seekers claims that they are now forced to let them stay because to remove them would infringe their fucking human fucking rights.

And not just a few - tens of thousands of them. Who is going to get fucking sacked or fucking resign over this?

I suspect no one, after all, that's the NuLiebore way.

The Penguin

Council Jobsworth Of The Day

This one is even trying to be anonymous.

Any "locals" with more detailed information?

The Penguin

The Badger Plan - Even More Fuck Up!

"Apple Pie, Motherhood, 3 Meals A Day, Church On Sunday, Strawberries and Cream...."

Al "Badger" Darling, serial house-flipper and allowance cheat has announced his plan to prevent any similar fuck-up to the banking fuck-up which his predecessor as Chancellor allowed to happen through diluting financial regulation between 3 entities, the Treasury, The Bank of England and the fucking useless but very expensive Financial Services Authority.

Yes, you guessed it, the cunt is planning on having a fourth entity, the new Council for Financial Stability designed to bring together the Financial Services Authority, the Treasury and the Bank of England, and be collectively be responsible for financial stability.

So where 3 different bodies fucked right up because of lack of accountability, turf wars, communications issues, and the usual "oh, it's someone else's responsibility" - there will now be even more opportunity for things falling between the stools. But never mind, it gives Darling and McBroon lots more juicy "jobs for the boys" to hand out to their cronies and stooges.

The utter cunts.

The Penguin

This Trough Pig Doesn't Like Bloggers!

Brian Coleman doesn't want bloggers examining his expenses. Why not?

"I'm not going to help the mad, the bad and the sad, the bloggers on the internet."

Thus one troughing pig refusing to make public his expense claims which the taxpayer funds, despite all the rest of the piggies at his trough doing so at the behest of Biffo.

Is this perhaps a sign that the sad bad and mad bloggers are beginning to get under the trough pigs lardy skins? Are you beginning to realise how much we fucking hate you bastards? Are you getting a teensy bit worried?

You fucking should be.

The Penguin

That's It, I'm Going Pikey!

Following Old Holborn's lead in becoming a Lesbian Transgendered One Legged Black Muslim in order to maximise her Yuman Rites, I have decided to become a Dirty Thieving Pikey.

Not only will I never have to pay taxes or national inurance, I'll go straight to the front of the queue at the doctor's without bothering with any appointment and the police will have to provide me with dangerous dog and a bit of rope. They'll also have to give me a shotgun or two, but no need for a licence, and then arrange a party for me and my fellow travellers. I'll be able to go to conferences with free grub and £60 cash in hand no questions asked, ignore planning requirements, park my caravans anywhere I fucking like, save a fortune on road tax and insurance and MOTs, steal diesel from farms, flytip crap wherever I choose, and some do gooding cunt from the council will come and fill in all the fucking forms so I can get every benefit going.

Mind you, I'll have to tone down my cunting language a fucking bit.

The Penguin