Friday, 5 June 2009

Alas, Grasshopper, A Wank Too Far!

"Grasshopper, I suggest you stop when you've gone blind!"

I loved the "Kung Fu" series.
What a shame that actor David Carradine should die in such an undignified way, literally wanking himself to death in a cupboard in a hotel in Thailand. Aged fucking 70!

And most ironically of all, he was there to work on a film called "Stretch" FFS.

I suggest the producers send for Richard Timney, he's got a lot of tugging experience and is looking for work.

The Penguin

12 comments:

CryBaby said...

i wouldn't normally read an article and burst into fits of laughter but couldn't help it when I saw the autopsy person's name was pornfit.

Jonty Dunne said...

I sometimes have to resort to wanking myself off because I'm an ugly cunt and no right-minded woman (or man come to that) will touch my grotesque bloated body. But I wouldn't choke anything more than the chicken for fucks sake.

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Dirty old cunt!

Anonymous said...

Wanking yourself to death at SEVENTY? What's not to like?

WV - melogeno (melon genitals - you could nae make it up).

killemallletgodsortemout said...

@crybaby.

The pathologist's name is Porntip.
I've met her, and she is absolutely gorgeous.

Lucky me, eh?

The Penguin said...

"There was a rope tied around his neck and another rope tied at his sex organ, and the two ropes were tied together and hung in the closet," police commander, Lieutenant General Worapong Siewpreecha said.

How's that for a name? WORAPONG!!

Well, I'd expect a corpse to honk a bit, especially in a hot climate and not discovered for a good few hours....

Anonymous said...

"Lumpini police said the body of Carradine was found curled up inside the wardrobe with one end of a shoelace tied around his penis and the other end fastened around his neck.
Both of his hands were bound with a cord which was also tied around his neck, said an officer at the station who requested anonymity"
From the Bangkok Post today.So he had very long shoe laces or a very long dick. On Thai TV this evening (we are 7 hours ahead of GMT) said he had died of auto asphyxiation so if he wasn't well hung when he was alive he was on the way out. The oficial autopsy has not been revealed yet but no European is murdered here, we had one a few weeks ago, an Italian man tied a rope around his neck and jumped off a bridge in Bangkok (the Thai's call it Krungthep city of amgels, yeah right)he decapited himself but managed to put his head afterwards in a plastic bag an obvious suicide. Makes a change from Pattaya 70km down the road the only city on earth devoted to industrialised fucking. Wall to wall whores and sad lonely old men keeping them away from planting rice all of them only been on the game 2 weeks ( try 20 years and had enough prick if you put it end to end you could have a handrail round the isle of man) with faces like bags of spanners. The favoured way of exit is not the door but the balcony 20 floors up these are assisted suicides usually happens just after his money runs out. Assisted by a couple of her "brothers" even if he had other ideas.
As for Pornthip the pathologist she is hated by the police because she tries to find out the truth behind the many suspicious deaths here, check her out 50 odd but looks good.

panavia999 said...

I knew The Penguin would have a good headline!
When I first heard a few days ago that Carradine was dead of an apparent suicide, my first thought was auto erotic asphyxiation or else it really was suicide because he was about to be arrested for kiddy sex (well, he was in Thailand). Call me cynical!
I've heard of some sad and icky deaths from this practice. It's gruesome to visualize.
It's pathetic and embarassing for Mr. Carradine's survivors. I really feel sorry for the man. But with the pun rich Thai names and places - Bangkok! - it's become tasteless joke that I won't deny enjoying a great deal.

panavia999 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
panavia999 said...

Armstrong and Miller have mentioned this practice.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cveZR4e91kU

Old Bag said...

"everybody was Hung-fu wanking..." (let me have it..its late and its been a long day.)

Anonymous said...

Good for him that he was still 'at it' at 70 but very sad that it ended this way. Condolences to his family.

I'll never be able to listen to 'Kung Fu Fighting' again without thinking of the comment from Old Bag - nice one!