My Name's Chaytor, It's Pronounced "Cheating Cunt".

These bastards really were taking the piss big time!

Labour MP David Cheating Cunt not only claimed for a mortgage he'd paid off, whilst shuffling his claims over a clutch of different properties, he was busy employing a cast of family and local Labour party apparatchiks.

Of course, this was completely above board, which is why he tried to hide the employment of his daughter by using a middle name as her surname, and there are interesting questions over some of the other invoices he used. Like the person who says they were nowt to do with him.

Still, it's good to know he'll trough at least another £100,000 or so by saving Jonah the little problem of another by-election.

The Penguin