Sunday, 7 June 2009

So Who Have We Got Running (!) The Country?


Following Gordon's latest relaunch and reshuffle and rearrangement of the deckchairs, what Titans of towering intellect and moral authority do we find if our stomachs are sufficiently strong to enable us to hold our noses and look around the cabinet table?

Prime Mentalist - Jonah McBroon, who's alethiometer provides the air conditioning required to circulate the fetid atmosphere, whilst wafting the stench of corruption and piss-stained trousers around the room. Noted for his dithering and nose-mining operations.

Deputy Leader of The Labour Party and Wimmins Minister - Harriet Harperson. Ghastly strident feminazi who seems blind to her own privileged background and her hypocrisy. I'm amazed she actually has children to send to private schools, I do wonder how it is possible that they could be conceived in the usual manner, surely she wouldn't stoop to letting Jack Dromey actually put his knob in her sacred grove and squirt some man juice up her?

First Secretary of State for Buggery - Lord Voldemort, that well known mortgage fraudster and slimebag, now amazingly re-united with his long time enemy McBroon at a price that we have to pay even when these cunts are thrown out.

Justice Secretary - Jack "The Slippery Weasel" Straw, deeply tainted but as a man completely without principle or honour, clinging to office like a turd on a blanket.

Chancellor of the Exchequer - Alastair Darling, whose financial efforts on his own behalf are sadly not matched by his efforts on behalf of the country. Gordon's sock-puppet who unexpected had a backbone injected up his arse by his ugly dumpling wife, who probably decided she likes the perks of living in 11 Downing Street and told him to get some balls or she'd rip his off.

Secretary of State for Cruelty To Children - Ed "Blinky" Balls, the Judas Iscariot who couldn't forget his ex-best friend Damien quickly enough. Good thing he'll have his hands full fighting with Voldemort, might mean less time to fuck up Education.

Secretary of State for Health - Andy "Eyeliner" Burnham. Lucky little gobspittle can now jump the queue and have the quacks investigate why his testicles have not dropped.

Home Secretary - Alan "Postie" Johnson, a bloke so thick he spend years and years delivering letters before he realised that he could go the union route and have a nice dry office. Is it just me or does his face have that nice "Glenmorangie" glow?

Defence Secretary - Bob Jobsworth, what a fucking joke. We're still fighting 2 illegal wars, the Armed Forces are forced to borrow kit and ammunition from the fucking Septics, and after a part time Sec Def and then a quitter, they get this moribund cunt!

Europe Minister - Lady Kinnock. So, no one in the House of Commons good enough that Jonah has to bring in this parasite? Or just no-one left that he could trust? Still, it keeps another of the NuLiebore Aristocracy at the trough.

Foreign Secretary - David "Banana" Millipede, kept his job only because of Jonah's cowardice and lack of real authority. A fucking joke at home and abroad, with his fucking sticking out ears and over-sized gob, he barely looks humanoid.

Fuck it, I'm losing the will to live listing this bunch of third rate chancers.

Some other poor sod is welcome to complete it!

The Penguin

4 comments:

Catosays said...

I think you've summed it up nicely there...a tad reticent perhaps and unlike you. ROTFL

Gordon said...

On the plus side, at least we have Lord Adonis replacing Hoon. Adonis was actually pretty good while a junior minister and while almost anyone would have been an improvement on buff, Adonis (despite his stupid name) will hopefully do well.

Anonymous said...

Did you list Blinky's shemale boyfriend, Master Cooper?

Fucking Labour, party of envy, hypocrisy and greed.

Cunts all of them.

Old Bag said...

Hooh hasnt gone anywhere!..he lives on in the new gestapo cabinet!..look at them!..bunch of fucking hoons if ever there was!.utter, utter cunts.