Simples! Charge The Fat Bastards For 3 Seats!

I don't understand the problem.

Sure it is simple? Just charge fat bastards for the number of seats they actually take up, and if it's none too comfortable flying with an airline seat arm up the crack, then lose some weight you fat fuckers.

Either than or grease them and slide them into the cargo hold as excess baggage.

The Penguin

Another Champagne Socialist Trougher

Baroness Morgan of Huyton, a former teacher, was one of Mr Blair’s closest political advisers between 1995 and 2005. She was involved with the planning of the Iraq war and acted as Mr Blair’s go-between with the trades unions.

She was given a peerage in 2001 and served for five months as a Cabinet Office minister before returning to Downing Street. She resigned after the 2005 election.

She then took on several lucrative directorships and advisory roles. She is paid £59,000 a year to sit on the board of Carphone Warehouse and £45,000 a year as a director of Southern Cross Healthcare, Britain’s largest private care home company.

She is also paid an estimated £25,000 to £30,000 a year to sit on Lloyds Pharmacy’s health care advisory panel, alongside Alan Milburn, the former Health Secretary.

The woman has done rather well for herself, dontcha think?

Yet she feels the need to claim a questionable £40,000 by pretending she lives in Hampshire rather than at her million quid house in Wandsworth.

The Penguin

Justice System Is Alice-In-Fucking-Wonderland!

Some bastard minor aristocrat steals £1.6 million quid from a charity, bankrupting it, and walks free from court.

Yet a school teacher who seduced a 15-year old boy get 32 months.

And a 15 year old who tried to rape a 11 year-old girl gets a referal order to go to a meeting or two.

Just three of many oddities in sentencing "policy" in the papers today.

Thanks, Jack! It was a crappy system, but you've managed to turn it into a complete basket case.

The Penguin

New Photo Competition!

SPOT THE LYING CUNT!

Even For McCavity, This Is Disgraceful!

With Friends Like Gordon, You're Really Fucked!

Gordoom Mcbrown, the Great Leader, Financial Genius, and Saviour Of The World is a lowdown cheating lying conniving Scottish Cunt of the worst sort.

However, the latest revelations about the Bank of England secretly propping up HBOS reveal a new and even more disgusting aspect to the Prime Mentalist.

He encouraged his so-called friend Sir Victor Blank, chairman of Lloyds Bank to buy HBOS even though he knew it was effectively bankrupt without the support of the BoE, and he kept fucking quiet about it even as the Lloyds shareholders (who were carefully NOT TOLD about the massive secret funding) saw the value of their shares plummet after the take-over went through and the shitfest in HBOS wrecked their bank.

Moral Compass?

Ha fucking Ha.

The Penguin

Shambles? What Else Could You Expect?

The Plod operation which had to be rushed because the fat twat Bob "Limo!" Quick waved the details at photographers in Downing Strasse was doomed as soon as The Great Leader (Unelected) got on the case and started bigging it up for headline opportunities.

The Curse of Jonah strikes again.

Why can't the cunt spend more time in Kirkcaldy?

The Penguin

Getting The Whitewash Ready

Sir John "Buggins Turn" Chilcot, who was part of the Butler Whitewash, is busy getting the gallons and gallons of whitewash ready in advance of the Iraq War Cover-Up.

Despite being in it up to his glass-eye, McCavity will not be questioned, which makes a travesty of it as it was the Scotch Cunt whose penny-pinching ensured our troops were placed in harms way with as little as 5 fucking bullets and a pair of skis.

And witnesses will be granted immunity.

And the Freedom of Information Act will not apply.

Waste of fucking time and money having a fucking so-called inquiry.

The Penguin

Is She Related To Horse Face Beckett?

This unelected apparatchik Baroness Ashton looks strangely like the caravan-dwelling horse-faced Margaret Beckett. Could it be that they are related?

Separated at birth, the ugly love children of some pairing so hideous that if it became common knowledge it would act as some form of contraceptive strong enough to overcome beer goggles and ensure a rapid fall in the birth rate.

Nurse !!!! The mind bleach, and quickly!!

The Penguin

Self Regulation Of Corrupt MPs By Corrupt MPs

Andrew Dismore MP and Leading Trough-Pig

Bit like the Police Complaints Farce, where bent or misguided or out of control plod are investigated and disciplined by their colleagues, MPs are supposedly held to account (when found fiddling their expenses or taking bribes or shagging their secretaries or paying rent boys to shit on them) by a panel of their peers.

Who of course, are whiter than white and pass the most rigorous scrutiny, and are therefore able to provide clear moral guidance and the most stringent of judgements in handing out severe sanctions to those found guilty of getting caught.

Like fuck.

The Penguin

Watch Out, Southwold, Your Time Is Nearly Up!

"I came here for a few days just this Summer...."

"Last year, as the credit crunch bit, Mr Brown modestly went to the Suffolk seaside resort of Southwold and toured the Norfolk countryside.

And this summer it has been reported that he will head to the Lake District after a spell in the constituency.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1204132/Brown-spend-summer-break-doing-community-work-constituency.html#ixzz0Xb9Ce6Ru "

Residents of Southwold would be well advised to ensure their household insurances are in order. It is only a matter of time, and they have already had more than might be thought reasonable....

The Penguin

Another Stunning Stunt By The Cunning Cunt?

It seems that the Magnificent Leader's fitness regime was as fake as his financial prudence, all a headline grabbing stunt and an obvious attempt to match up to the rather fit Cameron.

Mind you, it gave everyone a right fucking laugh looking at the photograph of the grey skinned puffing twat desperately tottering round looking every inch the heart-attack candidate.

Go on, Gordoom, prove you're really a jogger - and drop dead!

The Penguin

It's Official - Cumbria Is Fucked!

Pity the poor folk of Cumbria today - not only have they to try and cope in the ongoing severe weather and the resulting floods, but McCavity has turned up in person to deliver his usual Curse.

Thank goodness I explored the Lake District when I was younger, and have some photographs of it to show my grandchildren should they ever wish to know what it was like before the Brown Blight made a wasteland of it.

The Penguin

Never Mind The Rest, We Need Some Peruvians!

Phil "Custard Face" Woolas, the useless glove-puppet notionally in charge of our borders should immediately issue instructions that Peruvians wanting to come to the UK should be fast-tracked.

It would save a small fortune for local authorities and for the NHS, even if fast-food outlets and super-markets saw a dip in their profits.

And it might negate the need for a couple of nuclear power stations....

The Penguin

At Last Some Good News

"Anything You Do Say Will Be Written Down..."

"The Crown Prosecution Service has decided there is sufficient evidence and it is in the public interest to prosecute the Rt Hon Harriet Harman MP for the offences of driving without due care and attention and driving whilst using a handheld mobile telephone in relation to an incident on 3 July 2009.

"The Metropolitan police service provided papers to the CPS on 9 November 2009 which were reviewed by the special crime division in accordance with the Code for Crown Prosecutors. An MPS employee will now attend a magistrates court in order to obtain a summons to be served on Ms Harman."

This is amusing on many levels - not least because the mad bitch was Solicitor General when NuLiebore made using a mobile phone while driving illegal, one of their multitude of laws dictating what we can and can't do. Then there's her high-handed ignoring the law and driving away from the crash without providing the necessary information, typical of the political elite who think they are above the laws they pass to restrict the ordinary little people.

Not to mention she can't fucking drive becasue she's a woman. Allegedly.

The Penguin

The New MOD-speak

Amazing, the MOD have come up with a new language, MOD-speak, in order to perpetrate whitewashes of cover-ups. Here are a few examples.

Murders at Deepcut Barracks = Suicides
Lack of basic equipment = non-contributory factors
Critical report = requiring a re-write under new and fairer rules
Completely Useless Cunt = Secretary of State for Defence

The Penguin

Don't Hold Your Breath

Sacrificial Pigs

The Plod have passed six files of the most obvious expenses fiddling to the CPS for consideration about mounting prosecutions.

Don't be too surprised if the muppet Keir Starmer, Labour's apparatchik Director Of Public Prosecutions decides that there is insufficient evidence or that it would not be in the public interest to proceed to bringing charges. After all, pigs are tribal.

The Penguin

Crying Wont Help You

Time For Some Revenge, Darling?

Do you recall how it was the charmless Ed Balls who was so keen to be Chancellor in the buggered-up reshuffle that he had cleared his desk and told his staff he was off to the Treasury, only to look even more like a puffed up twat when Darling unexpectedly grew a pair and told the dithering Brown he was staying put?

Now Balls has publically tried to bounce Darling into giving his department for ruining children's lives a big increase in funds when the government is desperately trying to avoid the Gnomes of Zurich down-rating Britain's Junk Bonds by trimming a few quid from Gordon's Client State Bribery Bill.
Oddly enough, Darling has effectively told Balls to fuck off. I'm sure that he is aware of how effectively Brown fucked over everyone and everything he disagreed with by cutting off the money when he was Chancellor. Like the Armed Forces, for example.

I'm sure Balls can look forward to the spending settlement when it comes.

Bit like Gordon is looking forward to the General Election.

The Penguin

Suspicious Disappearance?

Odd how quickly the story about the huge amounts that MOD civil servants get for being REMFs at nice safe base camps in Afghanistan - close on £50,000 for a six month suntan break - has fallen out of the mainstream media. And that money is IN ADDITION to their regular salaries, making a complete mockery of a squaddies basic.

Then of course, there's the £300 MILLION in bonuses paid to MOD civil servants in the 8 years of the Afghanistan conflict.

Strangely silent too, Postman Prat, who seems not to have a full understanding of the facts. Thick cunt.

The Penguin

Is There A Coloured Elephant In The Room?

Hmmm, seems everyone is tippy toeing round here and not actually daring to call a spade a spade.

Or words to that effect.

Is it because the bloke arrrested is Afro-Caribbean by any chance? And did all the politically correct bollocks prevent the plod from nicking him sooner?

So much for fucking multi-culturalism.

The Penguin

Once More With Feeling!

Apparently McDoom hates being laughed at.

The Penguin

Pulling Up The Drawbridge!

"I'm All Right, Jack!"

The Squeaker of the House of Commons inists that the Kelly Reforms should be adopted in full, even if it is "rough justice" for some MP's.

Of course, as a serial flipper and mega-claimer at the trough when just a mere MP himself, he now enjoys a vastly increased salary and pensions as Squeaker, along with a highly desirable and luxurious apartment on which fucking tons of tax-payers' money has been lavished - some £700,000 for Gorbals Mick's make-over, I believe, and now another £45,000 to satisfy Mrs Squeaker's demands. So he's got a well feathered nest, and can afford to say fuck you lot to the rest of them.

Hypocritical little cunt.

The Penguin

Bye Bye Byers

"Repay? Repay? What The Fuck Do You Mean?"

Seems that the proposed reforms to the expenses regime mean that there's no longer enough gravy in the trough to suit Stephen Lyers Byers, whose wondrous 30 year career sucking at the public teat has encompassed such magnificent achievements as fucking up MG Rover by flogging it for fuck-all to the dodgy consortium, fucking up Railtrack and screwing the investors, and employing the fucking sensitive and caring Jo Moore, who at least knew when to bury bad news.

I wonder if he is going to repay the £125,000 he claimed in second home expenses for a residence owned outright by his partner?

Somehow, I suspect he'll get away with it, the fucking scrote.

The Penguin

The Stupidest Cunt Of Them All?

"Sometimes I had to deliver as many as 3 letters to the same address, fucking dangerous, I deserve a bonus!"

It's a fucking difficult call to make, but I am veering towards awarding Alan "Postman Prat" Johnson the title of the stupidest cunt in the cabinet.

This thick bastard walked around in the rain and the snow for 19 fucking years shoving letters through letterboxes and shitting himself if a dog barked before it dawned on him that going full time as one of the brothers meant a nice warm dry office. He's the stupid cunt who thought that patients choosing to buy drugs that might keep them alive was likely to destroy the NHS. He thinks he knows better than real scientists the dangers of various drugs.

Now, as Home Secretary he insists he can't stop the extradition to the United States of some nerdy computer hacker despite advice to the contrary by independent m'learned friends and now even the fucking useless Home Affairs Select Committee.

And to top it all, although he has never ever served in the Armed Forces or set foot in the MOD, he tries to defend the indefensible bonuses paid to the penpushers and other REMFs by claiming that their jobs are as dangerous as serving in the frontline in Afghanistan.

Even among the bunch of talent-free wankers and has-beens in Gordon McDoom's cabinet of no-hopers, Alan Johnson stands tall as the stupidest cunt of them all.

The Penguin

Blind Stupid Tribal Loyalty By The Porridge Pigmies

"Willie Bain's Just Keeping The Seat Warm For My Son, Ye Ken!"

The ludicrous porridge pigmies of impoverished Glasgow, which has been run for their own benefit by generations of dodgy Labour politicians, have voted for yet more of the same corrupt self-serving tribal servitude.

Not really surprising, just rather sad.

The Penguin