Tuesday 4 May 2010

Typical Tight Scotch Gits!

There you are, one of them's a millionaire, the other's a well-paid expense stealing property flipping politician. Too bloody mean to buy a plate of chips each.

And then the one-eyed snot-muncher counts them to be sure of getting his fair share....

And have you noticed, no tomato ketchup. I bet it was one of those places where you have to BUY a small sachet.

Cue little Hamish.

The Penguin


Sniper said...


They are both millionaires. Now where did Snot get his from?

Hacked Off said...

Stole it, of course.

Oldrightie said...

Snotty receives millions via his blind trust and his sale of our Nuclear Industry, via his Brother's job at EDF.

Hacked Off said...

Shouldn't he have a half-blind trust?

Anonymous said...

The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican , and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.
Grumpy leads the pack.

"Grumpy, my son," says the Pope, "What can I do for you?"

Grumpy asks, "Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf
Nuns in Rome ?"

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment
And answers, "No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome ."

In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.

Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.

Grumpy turns back, "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all
Of Europe ?"

The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers,
"No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe .

"This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.

Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry

Grumpy turns back and says, "Mr. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns
Anywhere in the world?"

The Pope, really confused by the questions says, "I'm sorry, my
Son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing,
Pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin

"Grumpy shagged a penguin!"
"Grumpy shagged a penguin!"

3 May 2010 11:47
Blogger The Penguin said...

I'm sure there's a whole raft of dreadful Scotchgit jokes, but I can't be arsed.

Just piss off back to your Buckfast and stop trying to annoy the grownups.

3 May 2010 15:44
Anonymous Anonymous said...

if you are grown up it says a lot about the rest of you bed wetting fucks in angli land
knuckle dragging inbred tatooed fuckwits i do hope you dim brained fucks try on your racist pish in SA they will take great delight in making white trash pizza of you

usa and slovenia will kick your sad arse out and scotland will cheer so loud you will hear it down there

i just love rattling you cage you doom brained mummy shagger now fuck the fuck of and stop polluting the ether with your shite

Engerland Engerland Engerland

3 May 2010 19:08
Blogger The Penguin said...

I suggest you have a lie down and try and get some rest, Hamish, there's a good little anonymong.

4 May 2010 08:40
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your retorts are as sad and spinless as you monkey spanker originality is not your strong suite is it when they handed brains out you were not even in the queue you dumb fucker a real penguin could out wit you syph brain big brave penguin hiding behind his keyboard what a wank stain you are you just keep coming back for more because you are a wee sad attention seeking shite bag

is it having a wee cock that makes you so sad and bitter i bet the only shag you have ever had is your mother or was it your granny no wonder you are such a sack of shite and bile now fuck of and die

4 May 2010 10:38

Anonymous said...

Scotch is what you drink. Scots are the people not the one eyed shite bag we gave you to run your horrible inbred country of fuckwits and knuckle draggers

what an ugly bunch of fat wobbly cunts you are i was in birmingham the other day all you can see is big fat sweatie lardy arses wobbling around what with the inbreeding and obesity you cunts will all be dead soon thank fuck

remember it is scots not scotch you syphilitic inbred hollow chested jumped up never come down dim witted spineless wank stain child molesting cunt

now fuck the fuckety fuck of

Hacked Off said...

Right on cue, there's Hamish!

Actually, my dear little Scotch anonymong, this is my blog, so it's for me to tell you to fuck off not the other way round. Not that I ever would, you're far too amusing.

But do try and catch up with the grownups!

Anonymous said...

Oh look I've found the Scottish blogosphere - it's shite though, I see what you mean Mr Penguin.

The good news is that they don't usually live that long.

Hacked Off said...

Rab's good though.

microdave said...

Why would anyone want to nick one of Gordooms chips - fer Christ's sake he's leaning over the plate, and is probably dribbling Sn0t all over them...

"Shouldn't he have a half-blind trust?" - isn't he beginning to loose the sight in his other one?

"Rab's good though." - Seconded.

@ re the Anonymong - I thought the 7 Dwarfs joke is a good one, even if the rest of his rambling is sh1te....

Hacked Off said...

Yes, but it's an old old one.

As for the plate of chips, I'd never ever even consider touching anything that Jonah had breathed on, let alone sneezed near or dribbled on.

Seems some folk are not so fussy!

Anonymous said...

Murphy dines on Snot's snotesse.

Now away and gobble some fish Pingu, or anything else that smells the same. You choose.

Incidently, I slipped into Engerlundshire last week, under cober of darkness and too found your women gross, sweaty smelly and totally unshaggable. even for a feral panda.

The cider, on the other hand, the small cider mill produced stufv I was guzzling in Dorset, Wiltshire and near Devon, in gastro pubs no less, was not bad. Even with a skinfu of it , couldn't bring myself to attempt a genetic redistribution amongst the female gene pool gagging for it.

Must be a boring campaign in Engerlandshire when you have to rattle our cages for a decent slag off.

Hacked Off said...

Yeah, Panda's are known to be so fucking picky about who they shag they are nigh on extinct.

Or is it that they are incompetent lovers? Or that they have incredibly tiny willies?

You're probably right about the cider though!