Tuesday 11 January 2011

UK Border Farce

"I Get Paid £230,000 A Year Plus A Gold-Plated Pension, And I'm Fucking Useless!"

The UK Border Agency cost £2,480 million resource and £191 million of capital spend in 2009/2010. It employed some 23,652 full time equivalent people (2008/09 24,311) including external employment agency and temporary staff.

These figures are from their published accounts which you can access on line via their self-congratulatory website at http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk

Back in 2006 the Home Office which was then notionally in charge of this clusterfuck of a department noticed that some 450,000 asylum seekers claim files were gathering dust and that no-ne knew where they were or what they were doing. John Reid put Phil Woolas in charge.

Since then, under Phil's inspired leadership, they have "cleared up" 334,500 individuals cases, mainly by filing the claims in a different drawer marked "No Further Action Required". Only rather less than one in ten have been deported.

A further 18,000 have been filed under "Can't Find So Forget" and another 43,000 are still in the In Tray but marked "Looks Too Difficult".

The UK Border Agency board comprises the following members:

  • Lin Homer, Chief Executive
  • Jonathan Sedgwick, deputy chief executive
  • Brodie Clark, border force
  • Matthew Coats, immigration group
  • Barbara Woodward, international group
  • David Wood, criminality and detention group
  • Martin Peach, intelligence group
  • Joe Dugdale, human resources and organisational development
  • Justin Holliday, resource management
  • Rob Yeldham, communications
  • Zilla Bowell, chief of staff
  • James Bevan, Foreign & Commonwealth Office, non-executive director
  • Melanie Dawes, HM Revenue & Customs, non-executive director
  • Chief Constable Martin Baker, Dorset Police, non-executive director
  • Mike Hawker, non-executive director
  • Graham Sims, non-executive director
  • Mark Thomson, non-executive director
  • Kathryn Bishop, non-executive director
Sack the fucking lot.

The Penguin


Anonymous said...

Hear! Hear!

Wrinkled Weasel said...

Yes Penguin, but what have they done to annoy you? Facts please, evidence and anecdotes.

coastguard said...

You forgot to add "and then close the borders" to your last sentence.

Call me Infidel said...

Lin Homer a former Birmingham City councillor I believe. The true scale of the immigration disaster has yet to be revealed. Was there not an incident around 2002 where the Home Office had a basement which conveniently flooded destroying tens of thousands of case files? If you really knew what went on inside the UK Immigration service you would blow a gasket. This latest fiasco is really just the tip of the iceberg.

I am Stan said...

They`ll never find me HAHAHAHAHAHA!

S said...

You are being very harsh. The Border Force was a paper exercise, set-up to take the blame. If they had effectively physically protected the borders the scum of the world could not have walked through and moved into your neighbourhood; to rub your face in the corruption, criminality, disease and violence of multiculturalism.

Noise said...

It's a complete mockery, every now and then they run behind target so they issue a reminder to staff to "grant asylym to all but obviously false cases". Then reminding everyone this is NOT an amnesty and NOT to talk to the papers about it.

System as it stands:
Asylym seekers believe that when they arrive they will get free housing, so they turn up.

They go into the 'black market', quite often into dodgy things because they don't have the papers to work legally

They are usually found / arrested, however they are usually housed in a B&B or lodging to await immigration result. They are not under arrest, so err, they can walk out whenever they please.

They may wait anything up to 18 months, with free housing and dole money. During this period they are not legally allowed to work, so they have to live on benefits. While the Home Office spends about £8K processing the paperwork. They may then be denied.

The asylym seeker consults his lawyer, his lawyer will appeal against the judgement and appeal for "further representation" with "new evidence". Starting the process all over.

At some point someone will mention that the best ways to get asylym granted is to get married and have children. What a great incentive!

Honestly I feel more malice against the system than someone who is probably doing what all of us would do. But really you want a fast-track immediate response within 1 week at most.