Just Let Some "Ordinary Decent Criminal" Kill Him

Cheaper for the taxpayer. And it makes sure some fucking do-gooding parole board doesn't let him out.

You know it makes sense.

The Penguin

Tittle Tattle

Lord Pies giving evidence to the Chilcot Cover-Up

"Peter was not a happy bunny. I wasn't that interested in the evidence, I wanted the meetings over so I could pop along to the buffet and scoff some pies."

The Penguin

Short Break

Despite the target rich environment, ranting will have to wait until I get back from a short break camping with the grand-children.

The Penguin

Getting Away With Murder - Again!

You can rely on the twats at the Criminal Protection Service.

Not content with having the discredited pathologist Freddy Patel fuck up and white-wash the first post-mortem and "lose" vital evidence making the subsequent second and third post-mortems results disputable and so ensuring that there was no reasonable prospect of getting murder or manslaughter charges to stick, they managed to delay any decision until it was too late to bring bang to rights assault charges.

Sack that useless cunt Kier Starmer for a start, and disband the utterly useless IPCC.

The Penguin

Elron Hubbard And All His Lizards Are Stupid, OK?

Some Short Cretin Caught Up In A Cult, And A Good-Looking Woman

What the fuck? And how much of taxpayers money is being pissed away bothering with this crap?

The Penguin

Complete Cunt Of The Week

Despite it being an extremely target rich environment, the title of Complete Cunt Of The Week goes to shifty former MP and Armed Forces Minister Adam Ingram, who has been complaining about how hard it was to have to put up with the families of dead soldiers.

This is the said shit who on many many occasions insisted to Parliament and to journalists that the Armed Forces were properly and fully equipped - he ought to pop along to the inquest into the death of Lieutentant Mark Evison, who bled to death because there were not sufficient of the right bandages to go round. In a sad irony Lt. Evison foretold his own death in his diary, where he recorded that they had insufficient radios, medical supplies - even insufficient food and water! - and that this would inevitably lead to unnecessary deaths. I'm sure the coroner would welcome his input.

Mr Ingram was also forced to apologise recently for misleading Parliament about the use of various illegal interogation techniques.

He was also caught touting his services for £2,500 a day "plus expenses" to help him survive being weaned from the public teat onto the hardship of his gold-plated pension and generous goodbye payment for leaving Parliament.

This in addition to his many well-paid "outside interests" giving him the highest outside earnings of any Scottish politician. However, he does have at least one anonymous fan, who uses the "Tugger" Timney Technique of writing letters to the local papers to try and defend the indefensible but takes it one stage further and pretends to be someone else.

All in all, a very deserving winner.

The Penguin

Arrogant Little Shit

The Next Heir To The Throne - and some Ginger Bloke

Poor old Brenda must despair at the way her genes have been watered down and dissipated by mixing them with the patently inferior genes of Phil The Greek.

Then add in the barking mad Spencer genes, and it is hardly surprising that the next generation seem incapable of knowing how to behave properly. Not content with helping himself to a Chinook to fly to some party or other, "Prince" William has landed the ratepayers of North Wales with an unnececessary and unwelcome bill of £4.2 million for additional protection because he wants more privacy than living with the rest of the RAF personnel would allow him.

Cunt.

The Penguin

The Bloodbath Begins?

"I have got nothing to say!"

Diane Abbott has decided that the nicely-nicely leadership election campaign was not going to do her any good, especially after she was eviscerated by Brillopad over her stupid racist remarks about West Indian mothers in a desperately crass attempt to excuse her hypocrisy in send her son to a fee-paying school whilst supporting policies designed to force less well-off parents to put up with shitty state schools.

So she has launched a third rate attack on the "geeks in suits".
I don't suppose the alien Millipedes or Eye-liner Burnham will want to get down and dirty, but Ed (or his evil twin brother) might decide that this calls for retaliation.

So it might get a bit more interesting.

The Penguin

The Dwarf Is In The Kack

"That's the chap, the little fellow standing on the foot-stool.
Give him the money!"

Excellent news from France.

Le Plod have started arresting people, and the trail of dodgy money leads directly to the Hungarian Dwarf.

The Penguin

PS Doesn't the sleazy snapper look rather like Jeffery Archer?

Bang To Rights, Millipede Caught Lying

"You hold the electrodes about this far apart..."

We all expect politicians to be "economical with the actuality" - but to be caught blatantly and persistently lying on camera is still something that makes one pause.

Why is the banana-waving alien Millipede still trying to cover-up the rotting stinking cadavers from his mentor Bliar's dirty doings?

The Penguin

Differnt Department, Mate, Not My Job

The sooner these jobsworths find themselves seeking fresh employment the better, along with their superiors and about five layers of local authority "management".

The Penguin

NB - I saw a badger the other day while I was driving along. I was surprised how big it was.
18 feet long, 4 feet wide. And a quarter of an inch thick.

Lord Prescott's Big Clean Out

From The Mouth Of The Humber...

Enough putrid fat to fill nine double-decker buses is being removed from Lord Prescott's bowels.

A team of 'flushers' equipped with full breathing apparatus has been drafted in with shovels to dig out an estimated 1,000 tonnes of clogged up fat.

Powerful jets are also being employed to break the stinking mass down.

The task to shift the disgusting matter could easily make the shortlist for Britain's worst jobs, but workers set about it with professionalism today.

The operation, which began in the early hours of this morning, is claimed to be the largest-ever sewer clean-up of its kind.

The build-up is the result of years of trough-pigging and pie-abuse. Danny Brackley, the specialist company's chief bowel flusher, said: 'We're used to getting our hands dirty, but nothing on this scale. We couldn't even access the main bowel as it was blocked by a four-foot wall of stinking solid fat.'

The clean-up is expected to last a couple of weeks.

The Penguin

Caption Contest ( Spot The Cunt Is Too Easy!)

Or, what is the squaddie on the right thinking?

The Penguin

Shock Horror - Chilcot Is Told The Truth

Liar, Bliar, Bagdad's On Fire!

Oh dear, it seems that there's not going to be enough whitewash for Chilcot to do a Hutton.

Carne Ross has not only lifted the lid on the lies told to the public in the run up to the Iraq War, he's pointed out the fibs that Chilcot has swallowed already.

The Peguin

Dangerous Bitch Muzzled

The Police Force - There To Protect Their Pensions!

Superintendent Julia Pendry of the Metropolitan Police Farce's Dangerous Dogs Unit has been muzzled following a nasty outbreak of the filth protecting their own.

"She's been told to keep her trap shut," said a spokesbitch for the Met, a police service best know for shooting Brazilian electricans and bashing to death innocent passers by, "or we might have to have her put down."

The Penguin

Best Avoided

I wonder if Fabio Capello should consider bringing Voldemort into the England squad.

I'm sure he'd like to stiffen up the back four.

The Penguin

Mr. Petit Frog Wants His Envelope, Madame

"These Footstools Are So Expensive, Of Course I Need A Little Help!"

Seems it's not only the socialists in the UK who specialise in dodgy donations and iffy funding.

The cheese eating surrender monkeys seem quite good at it as well.

The Penguin

Selfless Public Servants?

"It's Only A Little House, Hardly Big Enough To Swing A Cat, Honest!"

Oh dear, there are dummies and teddy bears on the floor again. Poor Nursey will have to pick them up and try and comfort the raging tantrum throwing brats.

Perhaps instead of the current shambles prospective MPs should be selected from people who already live in the constituency that they wish to represent in Parliament? Preferably from able folk who have proven their ability and quality by a successful career, with certain professions and occupations being banned, such as lawyers, lobbyists, and trade union officials as these have proven to be not only over-represented but far too fond of the trough for the public good.

As for the current Solicitor General, who has been topping up his not inconsiderable MP's pay and perks with outside earnings as barrister and judge in the hundreds of thousands a year, if he wants to rent a big house on a country estate, let the arrogant cunt pay for it himself.

The Penguin

Crook By Name, Crook By Nature?

"Marvellous Woman, A Real Princess - Lives in the USA, But I Do What I Can to Help Her...."

Disgraced former Liebore MP and trough-pig Frank Crook is apparently so cross with revelations in the Boregraph over his dodgy expense claims that he is taking legal action.

I hope the cunt is paying for this himself, out of the proceeds of 27 years on the public teat.

Interestingly, he was so reluctant to get his snout out of the trough even after the so-called reforms to the gravy train that he stood as an independent after Nu-Liebore were forced to deselect him over the revelations of his expense claims, and got fewer votes that the BNP. So it just shows that the Red Rosette stuck on a pig matters far more than all those years of serving his constituents by maxing out his "entitlements"!

The Penguin

Shame His Father Didn't Have Protection!

Grinning All The Way To The Bank, A Right Pair Of Cunts

I think it is high time Teflon Bliar was sent a large invoice for the costs of his cossetted "protection team" - he'd pretty soon find he could manage with a whole lot less and get better value from them if he had to foot the fucking bill, the cunt.

Just stripping down and cutting back is not enough - I want him to have to pay the taxpayer back for all the excess.

The Penguin

Mr Union Man

The Penguin

This Could Get Very Messy!

A Pen Knife Is Not A Weapon Of Mass Destruction

Along with the pressure to have a proper investigation into the murder of Dr. David Kelly it might be an idea to dig up the late Robin Cook, who didn't last very long after resigning in protest at the illegal Iraq invasion.

No wonder Lord Goldsmith decided that a change of opinion was a better option than a walk in the woods.

The Penguin