Great Big Troughs In Scotlandshire

Fuck me but they know how to live high on the fucking hog when the taxpayer is footing the bill up in bonny Scotlandshire.

No wonder that Alex Salmond has thirty-two chines on his two faces!

Personally I find if difficult to understand how they can stomach all that Haggis and Neeps, or how the caterers dare charge so much money for such rubbish, but maybe the single malt is expensive....

The Penguin

Andrew Mitchell - The Full Apology

Andrew Mitchell has published the full transcript of his apology, as made to the Prime Minister.

"Look, Dave, I'm really really sorry that this has caused such a stink. I can't believe the fucking cheek of that cuntstable, first in not opening the fucking gate immediately and saluting me as I cycled past the little pleb, and then having the fucking nerve to make a complaint because I gave him a richly deserved bollocking.

I may have lost the Department for Pissing Taxpayers Money Away To Corrupt Cunts and Hangers-On in your fucking shit re-shuffle, but I'm still a very important person, and these fucking plebs should know their place!"

The Penguin

Sack The Bastard And Strip Him Of Pension And Knighthood

Good to see "Sir" Norman twisting and turning like a twisty turny thing.....

The Penguin

Just What The Fuck Is Wrong With Plod?

"What's that, Madam? A lost dog? Right, you're fucking nicked!"

Despite all the previous, and all the noises from ministers and politicians, Inspector Fuckwit and his myrmidons continue to arrest householders who have simply defended their persons and their property from assault and robbery by criminals.

Even if they are then released on bail and the cretins at the CPS manage not to prosecute them and waste even more money and time, this is a serious inconvenience and leaves a paper-trail which may cause these victims trouble in future as well as hassle and heartache at the time.

Is it asking too fucking much that the imbeciles in senior positions in Her Majesty's Cuntstabulary tell their subordinates in words simple enough for even them to understand, stop arresting people for defending themselves?  We appreciate that the implied contract between public and police has broken down because they are patently incapable of doing what they are paid to do - defend the public and the public's property from criminals - so stop hassling the public when they have to step up and do the fucking police's job.

The Penguin