Monday, 14 September 2009

What The Fucking Fucking Fuck?

"Come on, Jack, just a few more minutes - maybe you should stick your finger up his arse too?"

I go away for a couple of days, have a fucking miserable time copping swine-flu or something without even shagging a pig, come home feeling worn out rather than enervated, and what's all over the fucking news?

Fucking parents protesting that a fucking school lamb is slaughtered (humanely, none of your Islamic or Judaaic barbarism!) for meat. Blinky Balls has probably ordered a few chops for an autumn barbecue, I wonder if Voldemort will be invited?

Some bunch of teenage thieves get a telling off for robbing a jewellery shop, but the spastic getaway driver is spared prison and the thumb-sucker is given 50 lines "I must not smash jewellery shop windows and steal bling". Tough on crime and the causes of crime, but the fucking Ministry of Justice are too busy trying to get back around £1.5 MILLION they have overpaid their own useless staff to give a fuck.

Some 12 year old forced into marriage in some foreign sand pit dies trying to eject a still-born foetus. Banana Millipede wrings his hands and says it is nothing to do with Tony Blair's ethical foreign policy, as there's fuck all oil there. Just lots of blood.

Jaycee Lee Dugard would not have been kidnapped if she was a buck-toothed squinty ginger with spots and a gimp-boot. Except in Arkansas.

That fucking rubbish crap Angel Delight is apparently selling again? What the fuck? Next it'll be Spam Fucking Fritters. And "Luncheon Meat" - don't even think to look closely at the list of ingredients, and remember, "NON DAIRY FAT" on that cheap icecream is LARD. Just remember why Walls started making icecream.

Four crooks in suits who ripped £42 MILLION out of Rover MG are going to get away with it. Still, it will save them having to pretend to have fucking Alzheimers.

And our wonderful NuLiebore Ministers prove yet again that they are only to happy to suck anyone's cock if there's enough money on the table.

So, nothing new then.

The Penguin

6 comments:

Tony Blair said...

Penguin,my dear chap, would you care to join Cherie and myself for a pint of "Halal" beer??

Yours in the struggle

Tone

The Penguin said...

Only if I could slip a healthy dose of cyanide into your glass and her mug.

FM said...

You just reminded me. In Camden, London there is a practice of serving Halah only menus in primary schools, I think there is only one left that doesn't.

I need to document it. It is fucking disgusting.

microdave said...

Spam, Spam, Spam, wonderful Spam......

Bugger Lugs said...

Not mellowed have we?


Welcome back to insanity.

xoggoth said...

I so agree. Shagging a pig would have made everything worth while.