Thursday 15 April 2010

That Important Letter From A Bunch Of Economists


Sir,

As expected, a key election issue concerns how much to cut government expenditure in 2010-11. The main opposition party now proposes to cut an extra £6 billion in 2010-11, on top of the measures already planned by the Government. This cut is described as efficiency savings. But in economic gobbledook it is just a cut by another name, ie efficiency savings or anything else. It is all about supply and demand. The supply of economists is elastic but the demand for them very inelastic and we are worried about being sacked when belts are tightened, so this will lead directly to job losses and indirectly to further falls in spending by us at Waitrose. Or the Co-op. At a time when recovery is delicate, it could leave us on Job Seekers Allowance, which even folk as out of touch with reality as we are know is not enough to get by on. And most of us are past our best — with much larger job consequences.

This is not the time for such a destabilising action. The recovery is still fragile. We have not yet stuffed enough away to want to be on the scrap heap. Firms and households are saving more to rebuild their balance sheets. This means that firms are investing less and employing fewer fuckwit economists. Only when the recovery is well underway, will it be safe to have extra cuts in government expenditure.

The first step is to make sure that growth returns, and economists jobs are safe. Rash action now could imperil not only our jobs but also the prospects for Gordon Brown.

Lord Layard
Emeritus Professor of Economics, LSE; founder of the LSE Centre for Economic Self-Congratulation

Lord Skidelsky
Emeritus Professor of Political Economy, Polytechnic University of Coventry, nearly Warwick

Gary Elsby, Emeritus Professor of Politcal Stupidity, Polytechnic of Stoke on Trent

Chris Allsopp
Reader in Economic Policy, University of Oxford; former member of the MP; pinko-crypto-commie

Philip Arested-Developmentis
Professor of Economics, University of Cambridge;

Michael Ambrosi
Jean Monnet Professor for European Economic Policy, University of Trier, Germany( so what's it got to do with me?)

Mark Shaffer
Professor of Economics at Heriot-watt University(not a proper one)

David Blanchflower
Bruce V. Rauner Professor of Economics, Dartmouth College, USA, former member of the MPC and well known marxist lunatic

William Brown
Montague Burton Professor of Industrial Relations, University of Cambridge- imagine that, a Professor of Industrial Relations, my mother is SO proud.

Wendy Carlin
Professor of Economics, University College, London and token girlie.

A right load more tossers also signed this important letter.

None have ever run a business.

The Penguin

Image copyright ImpactLab.com

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I thought it was genuine!

Pump-priming the economy.

These twunts are immune to what is happening to us. Security of tenure, a nice place to work until you're put out to stud.

Okay you fucking Einsteins. Where were you when Brown made his self-admitted mistake? Come on you faggots!

What about selling the gold? Where were you, you shiny-arsed, holier-than-thou experts?

Cunts will be telling us to back Don't Push It for the Grand National last week next.

And let's face it, if they were any good at it, they'd do it, like George Soros, rather than teach it.

Uncle Marvo said...

Richard Bach wrote a book called "Illusions", about a reluctant Messiah named Don Shimoda. I recommend reading this book, but I don't recommend believing anything in it, as it is a work of fiction.

At the end, Messiah Shimoda pointed out about his teachings that "everything in this book may be wrong".

A certain John Maynard Keynes, self-publicist and erstwhile tit, wrote a book about economics which, at the time, was possibly better than a couple of other books about economics. IMHO it was complete bollocks and yes, I have read it.

He forgot to put that last sentence in it.

Gordon Brown read it, or at least part of it, and saw that it was Good.

Wanker.

Umbongo said...

Baldwin accused the press of harlotry. That might still be true but the real prostitutes of today are exemplified by the signatories to the original of the letter you brilliantly spoof.

woman on a raft said...

That's "Professor Gary Born In Stoke And I Still Live Here Unlike Some Tristrams I Could Mention Elsby" to you chum, and don't you forget it.