Sanctimonious Humbug aka Nick Clegg

"Number 29 Had Tits Like Melons!"

There's something slightly nausea-inducing about Nick Clegg pretending to be a squeaky-clean new sort of political leader unsullied by the scandals and sleaze of the recent cesspit.

He claims to stand for CHANGE - and he's certainly good at changing his tack and his CV to airbrush those things which he currently thinks don't suit his position or ambition. Such as his stint as a lobbyist, or even his membership of the the Cambridge University Conservative Association between 1986 and 1987, with contemporary membership records citing an "N Clegg" of Robinson College. (At the time, Clegg was the only person of that name at Robinson.) However, Clegg himself later maintained he had "no recollection of that whatsoever."

Then there are his ludicrous claims of being a pork swordsman of repute which were promptly rubbished by his contemporaries, or the little incident of the cacti-arson which varies from several greenhouses, a nationally-renowned collection, to two or three specimens on a windowsill depending on who the audience is.

His expenses were maxed out and there was no hint of handing any second-home profit back to the tax-payer until he was caught red-handed with the rest of the trough-pigs. His position on the Lisbon Treaty was completely shameful because he's a committed Europhile who after indoctrination in the EUSSR and a long stint sucking Leon Brittan's rancid cock would sell the pound and what little remains of our sovereignity to Brussels without a second thought.

Far from being "one of the people" his background is at least as privileged as Cameron's, without the English pedigree. In fact, he's barely got any UK ancestry at all.

He's just another grubby politician on the make and on the take.

The Penguin