Saturday, 2 May 2009

Swine Flu Pandemic Is Bollocks, What Are They Trying To Hide?


"I don't fancy yours much, Gonzales!"

Let's get this into perspective. Hundreds of people die every day in the UK from the results of smoking tobacco. Hundreds more are killed on the roads. More people die each year from accidents while playing rugby than have yet died from swine flu in Mexico, where it seems that poor hygiene around some massive pig breeding and farming factories and an unhealthy interest in pig shagging have led to interspecies infection.

Apart from pig-sex tourists, direct infection is unlikely.

Human to human spread is perfectly possible, but as with all viral infections the bodies immune system and the nature of viruses to mutate means that subsequent infections are less virulent and less infectious, and so the pandemic gets weaker as it goes on, and fewer people are seriously affected. Same as with our so called normal winter influenza, which is different every year.

So who is gaining from this scare mongering?
Governments, because it gives them excuses for yet more regulation. The drugs companies, who if I were a cynical sort of flightless bird I would suspect of causing the outbreak in order to shift tons of anti-virals which will do fuck all good as they were designed to ameliorate bird flu. The media, as it gives them acres of story. And of course, any spin doctors looking to bury bad news.

Keep a sharp eye out for the bastards trying to hide things.

And if you must shag a pig, wear a condom.

The Penguin

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's alright for you bloody avians, us homo sapians are quite closely related to pigs.

The Penguin said...

Oh, does that make it incest?

Lexander said...

All the pigs I have shagged have been on The Pill!

Tory Poppins said...

. . .and I always spit! ;-)

Faux Cu said...

Many a true word spoken in Jest.

I was in NZ with and Ozzie a Kiwi and a Yank from Kentucky, areal bible belter.

AAfter several bottles of realy good NXZ wine,we somehow were discussing the Nz'ders predilection for Sheep shaggin and the Yank was open jawed.

Suddenly and subliminally we sons of Her Majesty were conspiring agin the Yank.

I said I was proud never to have shagged a sheep but I had fucked a pig or two. He went the colour of guocamole, honestly.

Never did any business with him again but the colonials pissed themselves after.

100% true story

Torbz said...

Spot on mate!
my whole family just had it and I've renamed it cuddly ferret flu...

No pigs were violated in the infection of my family btw...

It big pharma, bio-engineering companies flexing their penises, and the government reminding themselves what a bunch of easily manipulated idiots we can be.