Monday, 21 December 2009

That Time Of Year Again

Once again it is time for one to address what is left of one's nation, and the wider audience of our Commonwealth of Nations who have not yet moved here in pursuit of benefits unavailable to them at home. We also have to address several million newcomers from the newly subjugated countries in thrall to the EUSSR, who have arrived to do all the jobs which our peculiar welfare system apparently prevents our own subjects from doing. Leave the bloody swans alone, or I’ll set the Regiment on you!

This has been a difficult year so far as the Family are concerned, with one’s husband putting his foot in it the least of one’s worries. One keeps expecting to find ginger babies crawling out of the woodwork, heralded not by celestial angels or even shepherds but by the News Of The World. At least Charles had the good sense to use a johnny when he was screwing around, but the wretched Princes just won’t listen. I blame their mother, the daft bint!

We are more than ever concerned about the governance of our country. It seems extraordinary that in what is supposed to be a mature democracy things are left in the grubby snot encrusted little hands of that deluded Scottish fellow with the chewed nails and the strange movements of the jaw. One’s attention was drawn to a video clip of him actually doing some hip-hop jig in a desperate attempt to appeal to the youth, and it made one hoot with laughter. As Phillip said, the chap’s a buffoon! One might as well have Rab C Nesbitt in charge, he’d make more sense, and we would not have to keep scrubbing the furniture to remove the bogeys after his visitations.

The severe depression which this imbecile and his ludicrous policies has inflicted on one’s country continues, and one is so hard up as to have to catch a train to get to Sandringham. One will have to get our hands on some of Charles’ loot, if he can afford to swan around in private jets in order to big up climate warming and the importance of having a small carbon footprint he can jolly well help his poor old mother get the roof repaired.

As for the rest of you – one hopes you don’t all freeze. Happy Christmas!

Brenda Regina


Umbongo said...

Your Majesty

It might have slipped your mind that the government of this country is carried out in your name and that you have the legal power (although not exercised since the days of your predecessor Queen Anne) to veto Parliamentary Bills. It was and is well within your legal - if not customary - rights to have thrown out the legislation undermining the constitution, the constitution which, by the way, gives you the legitimacy to rule this country.

Were you less interested in preserving the Mountbatten-Windsor entitlement to the throne rather than in preserving the British people's rights enshrined in various solemn declarations and acts (eg Magna Carta, the Bill of Rights, the Habeas Corpus Act), those of us brought up to be loyal to Queen and Country might be less appalled by your decision to sit there and let politicians ruin the country over which you have the privilege to rule.

Believe me, I'm no republican but your conduct over the last 12 years deserves, not only contempt, but your removal from your high office.

Beware of Geeks bearing GIFs said...

My favourite Frankie Boyle Mock the Week line:

Things the Queen didn't say in her Christmas message

"I've had a few medical problems this year. I'm now so old, that my pussy is haunted!"

EU Subjected said...

Fucking Germin Vermin.
May God piss on her and all who sail in her.

Anonymous said...

Well, that saves me watching it on Christmas Day then... cheers

Anonymous said...

Don't forget the C of E, Penguin.

What in the name of all that is holy is the point of having an established church if the fucking priests can't even be bothered to exorcise the Queen's pussy ... ?

Anonymous said...

Penguin - I hear the Queen has a great sense of humor. She'd get a laugh from your address.