Wednesday, 3 June 2009
Somehow Very Appropriate!!
You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet-Lyrics:
I met a devil woman.
She took my heart away.
She said I had it coming to me.
but I wanted it that way.
I think that any lovin's good lovin.
So I took what I could get.
She looked at me with big brown eyes and said.
you ain't seen nothing yet....b.b.baby you just aint seen n.n.nothin yet
here's somethin that you're just never gonna forget,
b.b.b. baby you just aint seen n.n. nothing yet
And now I'm feeling better.
Cause I found out for sure.
She took me to her doctor.
And he told me I was cured.
He said that any love is good love
so I took what I could get, Yes I took what I could get and then
She looked at me with her big brown eyes and said
you ain't seen nothing yet....b.b.baby you just ain't seen n.n.nothin yet
here's something
here's something you're never gonna f.forget baby,
you know
you know
you know you just ain't seen nothin yet
Any lovin is good lovin
so I took what I get, yes I took what I could get and then, and then, and then,
She looked at me with her big brown eyes and said
You aint seen nothin yet
Baby you just aint seen n.n. nothing yet
Here's somethin
Here's something,here's somethin you're never gonna forget baby
Baby baby baby you just aint seen n.n.nothing yet
You aint seen nothing yet
From The Album-Not Fragile
Bachman-Turner Overdrive:
Randy Bachman-Lead Guitar, Vocals
Blair Thornton-Lead & Slide Guitar Background Vocals
C.F. Turner-Bass, Guitar, Vocals
Rob Bachman-Drums, Percussion, Background Vocals
Couldn't find a decent sounding "live" video!
The Penguin
Fucking Human Fucking Rights Bollocks
The Royal Navy capture some Somali pirates, after a long chase, and find loads of weapons that to any sensible person are proof conclusive that these are not innocent fisherfolk. In any case, innocent fisherfolk would have surrendered immediately when challenged by a bleeding warship!
So what do Her Majesty's sailors do?
Sink one of their boats containing the weapons and let the fuckers go their own way in the other of their boats.
What fucking stupid message is that sending?
Shoot the fucking lot, or better still, hang them as with pirates in years past when Britannia really did rule the fucking waves.
The Penguin
Good Riddance, You Minging Ginger Dwarf!
"Today I have told the prime mentalist that I am resigning from the Government.
My politics has always been rooted in the belief that ordinary people are capable of extraordinary expense claims, given the right support and encouragement from the Fees Office.
The role of a progressive Government should be to seize power from the people. I've never sought high office for the sake of it, but for what I can gain, and for what I can achieve for the people I represent and serve, my family.
In this next phase of my political life I am redoubling my efforts to squeak up for the people of Salford as their Chipmunk of Parliament. I am returning to the grassroots (where I began), to political activism, to the cut and thrust of political debate.
Most of all I want to help the Labour Party to reconnect with the British people, to remind them that our values are up for sale, that their hopes and dreams are for sale too.
I am glad to be going home to the people who matter the most to me: the Blears family of Salford.
Finally, there's an important set of elections tomorrow. I'm a bit simple: I'll still get out and vote Labour."
The Penguin
UPDATE: It seems there was more tax avoidance to come out. But never mind, a number 10 spokesweasel said, "She will be replaced very shortly."
Gordon's Chickens Coming Home To Roost!
"If I can just pull this facemask off, to reveal the Superman beneath!"And oh, dearie me, it seems that they are more vulture than bantam.
Having schemed and plotted and blackmailed his way to being an unelected Prime Mincer without the courage to try for a mandate of his own, he is now in danger of being ousted by plotters desperate to try and save something from the wreckage of the Labour Party.
He is truly the architect of his own disaster. His reputation for financial competence is now in shreds, and the "No More Boom and Bust" mantra seems to have been abandoned along with prudence and "fiscal responsibility". His brutal treatment of anyone who may or may not have been a rival for the top job he craved has left him with very few real friends in the PLP. He is losing what little support he still has from such as Alastair Darling through his failure to actively support them in the expenses scandals that they are almost all caught up in.
And now, facing wipeout in the local and EUSSR elections, his only real weapon, the re-shuffle, has been pre-empted by The Fat Lodger and made almost useless by his pathetic attempt to get a Queen-free (appart from him!) photo-opportunity with Obama at the D-Day remembrances. It means he has to be in France when he desperately needs to be in Downing Strasse making sure that the rebellious don't get the chance to wield the knife.
All very satisfying!
The Penguin
What A Scruffy Little Shit!
Man From Oxfam?Tommy "Two Dinners" Watson, the odious little twat who claims not to have known what his close friend and colleague Damien McBride was doing, despite being his effective manager and sitting at the next desk, has bailed out of government although not out of Parliament. Naturally, he claims that this is nothing to do with the expenses scandal or his closeness to the supposedly departed McBride, he just wants to spend more time with his family.
I hope his electorate finish the job at the next election by electing someone who is not so obviously a pig in an ill-fitting suit.
The Penguin
Hoon Of The Day
Bob "Useless" Ainsworth.
Weapons Grade Cunt.
If he was half as good at equipping the Armed Forces as he is at maximising his fucking allowances there'd be a lot fewer dead soldiers coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan.
The Penguin
Tuesday, 2 June 2009
It's Official - Gordon Fucked It Up!
Now there is only one person in the world who thinks Gordon Jonah McBroon is a financial genius, and that deluded twat is the One Eyed Snot Gobbler himself.
There's still a few suckers on his pink oboe, such as Mad Margaret "The Caravaner" Beckett, who are trying to pretend they don't know the truth, but in reality everyone knows that "No More Boom And Bust" has as much credibility as "British Jobs For British Workers".
Even so, there'll be some cunt along to try and claim it's global and it started in America. He'll be a grey haired orange-faced trouser-pissing cunt from Kirkcaldy, handing out copies of his book about Courage (Other Peoples') which no one wants to buy or read.
The Penguin
Should Have Been Sacked, Then Prosecuted!
"I don't just do soapy tit wanks, I do a very good blow job. Ask Gordon!"The Fat Lodger is resigning as Home Economics Secretary.
She should have been sacked, then prosecuted, found guilty, and rendered down into bi-diesel.
The Kebab Stuffer is deluded enough to think she can retain her marginal seat at the next election, despite all the publicity about her expense claims and "Tugger's" dirty habits.
I hope Sir Paul Judge decides she should be one of his private prosecution targets, since Inspector Knacker is so fucking useless. And I trust that being sued as an individual for her own fraudulent expense claims means she can't hide behind the Home Office's legal team, and will have to cough up for her own lawyers.
The Penguin
Due Diligence - LDV Deal Collapses
The deal for a Malaysian company to buy LDV collapsed after the Malaysians drove one of the dreadful LDV vans.
"No way!" said a Weststar spokesman. "Those fucking vans are a heap of shit. We'd rather buy Iveco or Mercedes, same as anyone else!"
The Penguin
Deluded Twat Alert
http://noleaderbutgordon.blogspot.com/
No moderation so far. I wonder how long that will last?
The Penguin
Hat Tip to Mad Rab
UPDATE: I'm now convinced it's a clever spoof. Congratulations!!
The Fearty From Fife Demonstrates His Lack Of Courage
Wankers' CrampMad nutter Gordon Jonah McBroon, the serial bottler from Kirkcaldy with the dubious "moral compass" who writes books about other peoples' courage but has none of his own demonstrates his lack of leadership skills as the days of revelation drag on.
It is now day 26 or so of the Daily Telegraph's expose of MPs' expenses and allowances, and the Prime Mentalist has "suspended" just two of the many Labour MPs caught bang to rights.
He is too scared to move against such stalwarts as Geof Hoon or Tony McNulty. Of course, there is much talk of a reshuffle, but the lack of talent available to the nutter with the stutter after 12 years of NuLiebore "government" means he will have to scrape the barrel. Maybe he'll drag that blind cunt Blunkett back into the cabinet, or perhaps he could go and dig Robin Cook up. He might have improved after being buried for a few years.
The Penguin
Margaret Almost Speaks The Truth
She won the "Who Can Pull The Ugliest Face?" competition without even entering it.
So I've helped the horse-faced old bag a little....
"There could be nothing more grossly irresponsible at the time of the greatest recession, maybe for 60 or 70 years, than to suggest that it is a good idea to dispense with the services of the person who is recognised everywhere in the world as being largely responsible for fucking it all up," she said.
The Penguin.
Just What Are They Scared Of?
Just what on earth are the fucking "authorities" scared of when it comes to dealing with fucking pikeys? After all, they are not known for their support of the political system, and if truly nomadic are unlikely to be registered to fucking well vote.
So why are they treated as though they are above the fucking laws that the rest of us are forced to obey?
And why is any criticism of their disgusting and anti-social behaviour stamped down on by the petty bureaucrats?
The Penguin
Monday, 1 June 2009
Excuses, Excuses
Ben Chapman on overclaiming £15,000 on his mortgage - "It is clear that I was mislead by the fees office into the arrangement in question."
Bill Wiggin on claiming claimed £11,000 in phantom mortgage payment - "I think people need to realise we are but human."
Anthony Steen on spending tens of thousands of pounds of taxpayers’ money on his million-pound country home - "I've done nothing criminal, that's the most awful thing, and do you know what it's about? Jealousy. I've got a very, very large house. Some people say it looks like Balmoral. It's a merchant's house of the 19th century. It's not particularly attractive, it just does me nicely."
Stewart Jackson on why he claimed for maintenance of his swimming pool - "The pool came with the house and I needed to know how to run it. Once I was shown that one time, there were no more claims. I take care of the pool myself. I believe this represents 'value for money' for the taxpayer."
Lord Mandelson, Business Secretary, who decorated his house after announcing he would stand down as an MP - "The fact is that these allowances would not have been paid if they weren't within the rules."
Jack Straw, Justice Secretary, who claimed for double the amount of council tax he had paid - "This, if I may say so, is the kind of thing that might happen not just to Members of Parliament. It is an error, which obviously I wish hadn't happened, but in circumstances in which I was incredibly busy during that period - that is not an excuse, it is just an explanation."
Douglas Hogg on why he was repaying the cost of maintaining his moat when he had insisted he had never claimed it in the first place - "I recognise that the clearing of the moat was not positively excluded from the claim."
Margaret Moran, backbench Labour MP for Luton who claimed for dry rot treatment at the Southampton home where her husband is based - "I have to have a proper family life and I can't do that unless I share the costs of the Southampton home with him. Any MP has to have a proper family life, they have to have support of their partner. I defy anybody to try and do a proper job, much less an incredibly pressured job, in which you work all hours, in the constituency, in Westminster and incredible pressure all the time.”
Phil Woolas, Immigration Minister, who claimed for supermarket bills which included nappies and women’s clothes - "What I have done is put receipts through from Tesco or wherever, but then claimed on the expenses form for the food and not for the other stuff. It is untrue that I claimed these things. It misunderstands the system. The receipts are there, but I never asked for or got money for these items. To suggest otherwise is disgusting."
A day later, on being shown his claim which showed he had claimed for the full receipt - "I take your point and I understand the extrapolation.' I am being hung out to dry for being honest. The key points to remember is that I don't need to submit receipts to back the claims and I could have actually claimed £400 for the food."
John Gummer, former Conservative agriculture minister who claimed for a mole catcher - "I have only ever claimed the relevant proportion of the costs of necessary maintenance and repairs of an old rural property.”
Shaun Woodward, Northern Ireland Secretary, appearing on the BBC’s Politics Show - "I have just had a cup of tea in the green room getting ready for this programme, and there were biscuits next to the make-up tray. The BBC is funded by the taxpayer. Those biscuits were actually paid for by a taxpayer. I have, in my office, claimed for biscuits for my constituents. So my constituents should not have biscuits, but someone coming on this programme should?”
David Willetts, shadow schools secretary, who claimed to have 25 light bulbs replaced - "We had problems with our lighting system which had caused many lights to fuse and needed the attention of an electrician."
Andrew George, Liberal Democrat MP, who claimed for a flat which his daughter stayed in - "A third of the flat's cost was paid directly by me without taxpayer support. Is The Telegraph suggesting that my family should not be able to visit me in London?"
Chris Huhne, Liberal Democrat home affairs spokesman, who claimed for the cost of a trouser press which was bought at his main London home - "The trouser press was taken to my Eastleigh home for use before constituency events, but I have repaid the cost of £119 as my aim on second home claims has always been to avoid controversy.”
Lembit Opik, Liberal Democrat MP, who was refused a claim for a television - “If I think something is good enough value for me to spend my own money on... I think it would be reasonable for me to claim it. The technology was very expensive in 2005. Obviously I thought it was worth it."
Nick Clegg, Liberal Democrat leader, who claimed for gardening - “The garden came with the house. It was in a totally derelict state and had not been touched in 30 years... it was a real eyesore for the neighbours. It is quite right, since I am not there during the week, it seems to me, that I use the allowance available to me, to make sure that it is in good basic maintained order, which it is now.”
Angus Robertson, SNP leader in Westminster, who claimed for a home cinema - "All claims relate to my parliamentary work on behalf of my constituents.”
Lady Sylvia Hermon, Ulster Unionist MP who volunteered to repay a rent overpayment - “I'm ...very angry that the Fees Office did not draw my attention to my mistakes at the time, especially as I had on various occasions specifically written on claim forms that I wanted them to be checked. The pressure on me was enormous at that time, pre-devolution, when every piece of Northern Ireland legislation had to go through the House of Commons and I was the only Ulster Unionist Voice."
Elliot Morley, former agriculture minister, who claimed for a mortgage that did not exist - "I do not believe any offence has been committed. I have reported this to the finance department and chief whip.”
Andrew MacKay, who resigned as a Commons aide to David Cameron, the Tory leader after claiming his MP wife’s “second home” was his “main home” - "This was all transparent, it was all approved and frankly until it was drawn to my attention it did not occur to me that it didn't pass the reasonableness test. Looking back now, it does look strange, I have clearly made an error of judgment for which I profusely apologise and I've done what I think is the right thing."
Shahid Malik, shortly before stepping down as Justice Minister -"I think this is a bit of a non-story to be honest. I have absolutely nothing to apologise for. I have done nothing wrong. I have not been at the periphery of the rules. I haven't abused the rules, I have been absolutely at the core of the rules."Ummmmm, let's have a vote, which is the MOST cringeworthy?
The Penguin
Another Ministry Of Justice JOKE
Judge Mohammed Ilyas KhanSeems the fuckwit Judge who employed an illegal Brazilian as a cleaner and then had an affair with her has done very nicely. 18 months off on full pay while the circumstances were "investigated" and then another 12 months on the sick, and all at full fucking pay. About £300,000 for doing fuck all, and all from the generous taxpayer, of course.
Mind you, they couldn't sack the cunt, or Lord Ahmed of Openprison would have 10,000 fucking moslems replacing the fucking Tamils in Parliament Square, disrupting the traffic and making the place stink even more of garlic and hypocrisy.
Probably not enough to cover the stench of corruption, though.
The Penguin
Do The Decent Thing, You Fat Cow!
Stupid Bitch Needs Escort To Buy KebabMajor manhunt launched as police reveal 16 of the world's most wanted men are on the run in the UK.
Father-of-three run over and killed after he was followed home for nine miles by nightclub thugs.
Man dies after being kicked in the head in violent park attack.
Just three articles on todays Daily Shite site.
What hope is there that the stupid fat cow in supposed charge of the Home Office, responsible for Law and Order and Immigration might do the decent thing and fucking resign? No hope and Bob Hope, and Bob Hope's dead.
The Penguin
Just Look At The Ugly Trough Pig - If You Have A Strong Stomach!
Retiring for "health reasons" my fucking arse, this expense claim bandit has obviously enjoyed years of subsidised gobbling and quaffing at the taxpayers' expense.
I hope he gets bowel cancer and dies in agony after months of unpleasant and unsuccessful treatment, and that his entire family get C Diff from visiting him in hospital.
Not that I'm vindictive.
The Penguin
Something Is Seriously Wrong With The System
How can this be happening in 21st century Britain?
Social Services allow Peter Connelly to be brutalised and murdered despite massive evidence of him being at risk.
And in Nottingham they appear to be completely inhuman, and are backed up by the fucking legal profession and the courts.
It's not just the cunts in Parliament who need to be culled.
The Penguin
What I Did On My Holiday, By A Penguin
Luckily I headed off the idea of taking the tent, the chalet was a few quid more but was waterproof, had a heater, cooking facilities, a shower and a toilet. And despite the claims of other folk that they would take only essentials, we'd never have got everything into the one vehicle even though that is a Volvo estate.
The location was quite charming, a camp site a few miles from Boulogne-sur-Mer. The weather was variable, including very hot, thunder storms, drizzle, windy, sunny. What you'd expect, really.
The twins were also variable, from co-operative and charming to completely unreasonable and out of control. It varies with their blood sugar, and keeping them fed is essential. Problem is that they don't want to waste time eating. That and the lack of any meaningful sanction in the parental discipline department. So it was stressful at times, but luckily there was plenty of good Chardonnay Pays de Oc from Auchan at about £2 a bottle.
Nausicca, Chateau Musee, Parc de Falaise, throwing water over each other, beaches at Wimereux and Audreselles.
Then the bloody aircon failed.
Still, once home things improved a little, as Penguin Towers being Victorian is well built and cool in the summer - and I'd had the foresight to leave a bottle or two in the fridge before we left. And my beautiful cats were pleased to see me if not the twins!
The Penguin
Jonah Is Appalled
"What I have seen offends my Presbyterian conscience, what I have seen is something that is appalling," said McBroon after a nasty experience with a mirror. "However, I shall never step aside or stand down. I will continue to ruin Britain and disgrace the Labour Party."
The Penguin
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