Friday, 22 May 2009
Stark Staring Raving Bonkers - The Prime Mentalist
Just look at that photograph.
Frightening, isn't it?
The Penguin
Not That Sanctimonious Hypocrite Again!
Martin "White Suit" Bell. Also known as Alastair Campbell's catspaw.
Served one term as an "independent" MP, stood down in 2001 having achieved absolutely fuck all except garner headlines excoriating "Tory Sleaze" - which is why Campbell put him up to it.
Please, Mr. Bell, just fuck off.
The Penguin
A Natural Affinity?
It's hardly surprising that the BBC is often accused of blatant Government and Left Wing Bias.
They are soul mates at the trough of public money.
The Penguin
Gordon And His Sock-Puppet Make History!
That much vaunted Master Of Finance, Saviour Of The World, Eliminator Of Boom And Bust, Trouser Pisser and Snot Gobbler, Jimmy Jonah McBroon, The Unelected Prime Mentalist has achieved another first for Britain, alongside his badger-faced sock-puppet, Alastair Darling.
For the first time in history, Britain is threatened with having its triple A credit rating down-graded.
Prudence is spinning in her shallow grave.
The Penguin
If She Had Any Honour She'd Resign!
If Jacqui Smith had a shred of honour she'd resign.
Much of the complete mess she presides over in the Home Office is actually not her fault. The lack of sufficient capacity in our prisons is directly attributable to that fucking one-eyed twat in 10 Downing Strasse who refused to fund the necessary expansion, and who also cut funding for the probation service. The result is what the Police describe as a "hokey cokey justice system", and figures out today confirm that 4 of every ten released early commit more crimes. It is indeed a revolving door!
The immigration issues predate her being Home Secretary, too. And I suspect the Gurkha Fiasco was driven by cost considerations dictated by the Treasury, where Gordon's sock-puppet fiddles the books at his master's behest.
Quite how she can justifies handing out £3.4 MILLION in performance related bonuses is stretching her own credibility way past destruction though.
And her outrageous and blatant troughing means there is not a scrap of sympathy for her in Penguin Towers.
She should resign as Home Secretary, and stand down as an MP. Today would be good, as she missed out on getting this done yesterday.
The Penguin
Thursday, 21 May 2009
Brown Paper Bags Would Have Been Cheaper And Better!
"I use the same Orange Slap as Gordon, you know!"This ugly NuLiebore Munter tried it on for £100 or so for "hair straightener".
She should have bought a wholesale quantity of brown paper bags, cheaper and more effective.
The Penguin
Who's Sorry Now? I Hope The Judge Is As Sceptical As I Am!!
Fucking pass the fucking sick bag.
Mrs Connolly writes to the Judge prior to sentencing to say she is sorry she failed Peter.
Well then, that's all right. And considering all the time you've been in custody, we'll let you off with some community service. Oh, and police protection, and a new identity, and a new council house, and some beer and fag vouchers, and child tax credits....
NO IT IS NOT ALL FUCKING RIGHT!! 20 years minimum, and hopefully some other inmates can hand out some real punishment.
As for the other scum, best I don't start. The father's a waste of skin as well.
The Penguin
Watch Out For The Weaselly Small Print, Joanna!!
Congratulations to Joanna Lumley and her very well run campaign in support of full settlement rights for the Gurkhas.
However, please check the small print very carefully.
Gordon Brown tells porky pies, you know.
The Penguin
Cowardly And Hypocritical, And Counter-Productive!
"Look Out, Your Majesty, There Might Be Patriots About!"For fucks sake, leave the fucking BNP alone! What's with all the fuss if Nick Griffin, along with hundreds of other people, gets to go to one of Brenda's Garden Parties? Who gives a fuck?
Do they check every guest to see if they belong to any particular political party?
The BNP may be barking, obnoxious, deeply unpleasant, or it may be entirely peopled by folk destined for sainthood - or it may like all the fucking rest of the fucking parties be peopled by a huge range of folk from saint to sinner. Fact is, it is a legitimate political party, and to demonise it is plain daft.
And gives them more publicity than they probably deserve.
The Penguin
Completely Fucking Outrageous! Bonuses For Failure!!
"My Main Home Is A Cupboard In My Sister's Back Bedroom!"
Why the fucking hell should taxpayers be forking out millions in bonuses for staff at the unfit for purpose Home Office and its useless UK Border Agency?
"More than £3.4million was paid in bonuses to staff at the Home Office headquarters and the UK Border Agency in 2008-09, Immigration Minister Phil Woolas has said.
Isn't that rewarding failure? Crime Up, despite the figures, police brutality and unlawful killings, immigration a fucking joke, the Gurkha scandal, where's the fucking exceptional performance?
The only exceptional perfomance if the Home Office is the troughing by the fucking ministers!
The Penguin
The Curse Of Jonah - Part 78
You could not make it up.
Sir Victor Blank is pushed into the worst take-over in banking history by Jonah McBroon, who assured him over cocktails that the government would ignore any competition issues despite the existing legislation and regulations.
As the extent of HBOS's problems emerges, Sir Victor is forced out. Sadly, it seems the twat gets to keep his pension, and as yet he has not been convicted in Harriet's Court of Public Opinion.
But the curse of Jonah has not yet been alleviated.
Along come rumours that the EUSSR are not at all happy that the competition rules have been ignored. Not to mention the French and the Germans are upset that a bank the size of Lloyds HBOS is bigger than any of theirs.
The share price plunges further. Beware the Curse of Jonah.
The Penguin
Wednesday, 20 May 2009
Surely If Jonah Sacks Hazel, He Has To Sack Hoon?
"Invest In Property, That's My Advice!"
If the mad one-eyed Snot Gobbler sacks the Ginger Minger for avoiding CGT on her property deals, he has to treat The Great Hoon in the same way?
Or does TCH know where too many bodies are buried, and The Great Coward is scared to move against him?
I'm looking forward to Guido's Big Hoon Feature!
The Penguin
Benefit Parasites. Another Heart Warming Story.
"We only take what we are entitled to!"This lovely family living at your expense in Norwich get £24,000 a fucking year and pay only £15 a month for their council house. She's only 24 and has SEVEN children - he can't work, poor soul because of "arthritis" which is so painful that sometimes he can't be arsed to get out of bed.
So, they have never contributed anything to the society which they expect should keep them. It's their fucking rights, innit? Luckily, by the time the gravy train starts to run dry because the children grow up, they can start all over again with another generation of benefit parasites.
The Penguin
Donald Campbell's Body Is Found At Last!
Amidst the ongoing fuss about whether or not to relax the rules and let a restored Bluebird run up and down Coniston Water at 100mph, I am glad to be able to report that Donald Campbell's body has been found at last.
It came out of a tap in Huddersfield.
The Penguin
Angry And Appalled? You Knew It Was Happening, Jonah!
Wee Jimmy Gordon "Jonah" McBroon is desperately trying to claim the high moral ground in his condemnation of the unacceptable nature of MPs abuse of the overly generous expenses and allowances system.
"I am angry and I am appalled. If my father, my parents, thought that these things were going on in the House of Commons, they would be utterly appalled."
But Gordon, you fucking hypocrite, you knew what the Green Book said. You knew very well what the rules were. You claimed for cleaning your fiancee's flat as well as your own flat even when you had 10 Downing Strasse to doss in, and you switched your second home allowance to Feartyshire to claim there. Your whips and running dogs would have told you about the excesses that your tribe were indulging in, and you saved the information up to blackmail and bully them with.
Then you supported the fat twat Speaker Martin in his attempts to hide things from te FOI - he had not the intelligence or the initiative to have acted without your encouragement and support, he was always your sock-puppet.
So do me a favour, Gordon, just call a General Election, and then fucking shut the fuck up. You Cunt!
The Penguin
British Jobs For British Workers - Part 19b
Oh, the political slogan that gives and gives and gives again.
Do you suppose that the Great Leader, Our Unelected Saviour Of The World (Started In America), The Snot Gobbler, Jonah McBroon regrets his pathetic attempt to jump on the nationalist bandwagon with his (illegal) declaration of British Jobs For British Workers?
More strikes are spreading across the land....
The Penguin
It Will All Be Over By Christmas!
"I've Come As George Best, Get Me A Drink!"
Alastair Darling insists that his rose-tinted spectacles enable him to see things that remain invisible to all other economic forecasters, including the IMF and the OECD.
"It Will All Be Over By Christmas!"
Seems strangely familiar.
I wonder how many casualties there will be before the recession actually comes to an end after a new government slashes the bloated public spending?
The Penguin
Tuesday, 19 May 2009
More Whitewash From The Whitewash Specialists
Is anyone at all surprised that the latest supposed independent investigation or enquiry into some monumental government fuck-up concludes that there was no one to blame in the circumstances and that lessons have been learned?
It's the same every time. Why do they even bother going through the motions?
The Penguin
Are Government "Lords" Able To Claim Attendance And Other Allowances?
Just thought!
Do the likes of Voldemort and Myners who are on the Government Payroll as Cabinet Ministers also qualify for attendance allowance and second home fiddles a la Baroness Uddin?
Anyone know?
The Penguin
Could It Be? Martin To Resign!!!!!!!
"Order! Order me a Taxi!"Reports hitting the web that Speaker Martin is to resign this afternoon.
Paul Waugh in the Standard seems to be first with this news.
Stupid fat fool should have done it yesterday, escaped with some dignity.
Now with any luck he'll be so enraged at Jonah McBroon abandoning him he'll give him a decent Glasgow kiss, or at the very least drop Jonah in the cack. It was shameful but typical yesterday to see McBroon scuttle out of the chamber as soon as the Speaker had sat down after his piss-poor "statement" - the cunt may write books about other peoples' courage, but he has none of his own. And when it comes to sacrificing his friends to protect his own position....
The Penguin
Yet Another Shameless Pig From The McMafia
Michael Connarty declined to try and explain his troughing.
Asked to justify the expense claims, Mr Connarty responded in an email: "The Daily Telegraph is involved in using stolen property to financially benefit the newspaper and the pay of its journalists. In my understanding, this is the criminal act of 'reset'. I hope the newspaper will eventually answer in court for this criminal act."
High time we rid Westminster of all the Scotchland McMafia. They can fuck off to Holyrood, we won't miss them.
Jonah McBroon
Michael Martin
Alastair Darling
John Reid
Des Browne
Dougie Alexander
Jim Devine
Michael Connarty
Ian McCartney
And the rest.
All of them. Good riddance.
The Penguin
UPDATE: Metropolitan Plod say no to investigating the leak of the expenses data to the Telegraph, so you can just fuck right off you brass-necked cunt.
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