Tuesday, 27 September 2011

How To End The Recession


There's a blindingly obvious solution which could be implemented quite quickly.

Compulsory euthanasia for anyone over 75.

NHS saves money. Councils save money on care homes, lots of housing gets freed up so no need to build on the green belt, inheritances bring money into the economy. Funeral directors get rich and need more staff, creating jobs for those who used to work in care homes, hospital beds get freed up, DWP save a fortune on pensions and pension credits, pension companies get massive windfalls and can be taxed on them, and it could even be a green revolution using them as fuel in power stations rather than just the occasional council swimming pool warmed by the local crematorium.

After all, then there'd be loads of money for a decent innings over 5 years over the allotted 3 score and ten, rather than hanging on until the NHS can be bothered to bump you off through neglect and starvation if you're too bloody-minded to cop C-Diff or MRSA.

The Penguin

14 comments:

Henry Crun said...

The Greeks could do their bit by using their dinner plates more than once.

Anonymous said...

They should go out with some ceremony, we could call it the Carousel.

Tarka the Rotter said...

Been watching 'Logan's Run' by any chance?

76yr old said...

Oi. Wind your penguin neck in !

Mr Ecks said...

Try your luck on my old mam and you'll be on your way to the great iceberg in the sky Penguin.

The Filthy Engineer said...

Bugger. I've only 13 years left.

To get my money back, I'll just have to try and worm my way into a state run care home early.

Twenty_Rothmans said...

To get my money back, I'll just have to try and worm my way into a state run care home early.
Houses of Parliament?

Why not just vernichten Labour voters? More diverse, much more fun.

The Filthy Engineer said...

That's it. They can enoble me for services to.............. I dunno.

banned said...

Ot took WW2 to get the west out of its last recession, hint.

Captain Haddock said...

"Ot took WW2 to get the west out of its last recession, hint" ...

Yep, the ingredients are all there mate ..

microdave said...

"And it could even be a green revolution using them as fuel in power stations rather than just the occasional council swimming pool warmed by the local crematorium."

Don't be too sure - the undertakers bill for my fathers cremation included the words "emission surcharge".

You can't go converting the dead into nasty CO2 - Global Warming Alert!! - think of the Penguins...

Dioclese said...

Seriously, I wouldn't agree with euthanasia but I would legalise the right to die / assisted suicide. Why prolong suffering for terminal patients? We don't do that for animals and the NHS spends a fortune on pointless paliative care.

Or if you really want to end the recession, then you could do what Greece is doing and just cancel the debts you owe?

Anonymous said...

Wont apply to the Royal family or the political classes will it, be careful what you wish for.

Anonymous said...

with the prolonged attack on disabled people I thought they had already begun this?

actually if they threw in everybody on benefits and all those on earnings of less than £50,000 a year then I'm pretty sure that would do the trick!

if all that was left was the politiicans even they would get sick of each other and then start murdering each other

great idea