Monday, 22 December 2008
Letter To The Editor
I would like to draw your readers' attention to the splendid job being done by the Home Economics Secretary, the first woman to have achieved this high office of state, even though she is not black. Jacqui Smith has done wonders in what one of her predecessors called a department not fit for purpose. Single handed, Jacqui Smith has repaired our porous borders and removed all the illegal aliens, safely deporting them to welcoming and safe countries where they will be cosseted and given plenty of benefits.
She has ensured that all foreigners who have committed crimes are sent back home immediately that they finish their prison sentences (those who have been caught, obviously) and that they have their ID cards marked “Not Wanted in the UK” so that they can’t just come back again.
Jacqui has made sure that every criminal serves out the full sentence imposed by the independent judiciary so that the public and hard working families are safe and that murders and rapes are no longer committed by scum on early release or police bail.
Her loyal and committed civil servants have not leaked sensitive documents to opposition politicians or the media, which used to be such a feature of previous administrations. So there has been no need for a heavy handed and badly run police investigation by Inspector Knackered of the Metropoliticised Police Farce ( Motto :“Serving NuLabour Together for A Safer Re-election” )
Her amazing ability to protect the public and their vital information means that the introduction of the hugely popular ID cards ( £876 each, real bargain!) is going to be the most successful government IT scheme ever, and only £590 billion over budget, which again is a record.
The other thing that I should like to mention is that the ever fragrant Jacqui has never been caught out fiddling her expenses or paying family members vast sums of tax payers money for doing bugger all but write congratulatory letters to local papers to try and shore up a tiny electoral majority.
Richard Timney (Mrs.)
Posted by Hacked Off at 12:01