Wednesday, 22 August 2012

What A Surprise, No One To Blame!

"What Do You Mean, I Look Like Lonely From Callan?"

Scotland Yard Commissioner Bernard Hogan-Howe said: "We are carrying out an internal review, but given the fact that we are not only incapable of finding a dead body in a bin-bag three times out of four, and that we have trouble finding our back-side with both hands, we are unlikely to find anyone prepared to take the blame for this latest fuck-up.

However, it's not all bad this week - we have just managed to get Freddy Patel blamed for the Tomlinson manslaughter, diverting attention from our very own serial-thug PC Harwood, who has now been cleared in the courts and will soon be free to resume acts of extreme and unprovoked violence against the general public.

I might just keep my job since Boris doesn't want to risk more questions about losing senior managers on his watch, but my knighthood is looking a tad unlikely in the short-term."

The Penguin


Anonymous said...

Is this the Bernard Hogan Howe-on-earth-did-I-ever-get-promoted-so-far-above-my-appropriate-pay-grade?

Anonymous said...

Let's ask Ciaron Joseph Goggins (born in 1961)of Belfast and see what he has to say....

Anonymous said...

A tad unfair I feel.

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