"Fellow Parliamentarians, I have come down from my mountain retreat to slay the wicked evil dragon that is the Murdoch Empire. I was prevented from doing this while I was in government because I was desperate for their support for my fuckwitted schemes such as selling all the gold as cheaply as possible and wrecking other peoples' pensions.
I was forced to crawl and suck their nasty rancid cocks because they wielded such power and influence and had made a right mockery of the Welsh windbag, and I knew I was an even more obvious target, what with my nose-picking and the issue with the nappies and the rocking-horse. So I invited a raft of evil journalists to the funeral of my poor dead baby, and when that evil hag with the red hair called to discuss running a story about my son having even less spine than I have I wept tears of rage and fury at my cowardice. So I went along to the wicked witch's wedding and invited her and the wife and daughter of the Evil Emperor over for a pyjama party with my wife at Chequers. But all the time I was trying to resist their complete domination of the media.
It was only the advice of my senior civil servants and a whole raft of colleagues in government that stopped me from setting up a full public inquiry, lead by some old tosser like Lord Hutton of Whitewash, to enquire into rumours that Hugh Grant was overheard ordering a take-away chinese meal. They were even more afraid than I was, and so it came to nothing.
But after the Sun turned on me, ruining my conference triumph and supporting the old Etonian flash git, I decided that I had nothing to lose, other than the election, and so I started keeping a record of all the nasty things that they said about me. And I can tell you, here today in this place of power and privilege, that they said lots of nasty things. I would have sued them for libel, but they were all true.
Which is why I am glad that they are currently in the shit and I am able at last to say that I don't really like them."
From Hansard -ish!
The Penguin
13 comments:
Like it. He is an oaf of a man.
Brown is so detestable & repulsive, as to make a month old plate of dog vomit look attractive ..
@Captain Haddock - he's not that nice. You're obviously a fan.
Quite right - expose him for the lying hypocrite thst he is!
just a thought...
The Mur-docs are over here right now, but just too busy to turn up on Tuesday right?
They have been served with a summons and already said they are not going to show up
I take it they plan to fly out of here (this country) before Tuesday.
Will our magnificent borders agency just let them leave?
....and why?
It seems the Mur docs are gonna turn up Tuesday.
Please please please Mr Mur Doc have something on the whole fucking lot of em and lets be knowing it.
Artco, my dearest wish, too. Just imagine them stating in public how much we have been deceived by the hypocritical "committee".
@ Michael Fowke ..
Indeed Michael .. the sort of fan who would willingly surrender a goodly part of his pension for the opportunity to Hang, Draw & Quarter the arsehole ..
What an odious scumbag this creature is.
C'mon Gordon, we've knocked him down for you. It's safe for you to come and kick him now!!. You can explain why you didn't attack him before by saying we wouldn't let you. Bet it was that Sue that stopped you?"
Brown is a bigger cunt than that odious little unemployed twat of a dwarf named Ciaran Rehill
Deceitful, fat oaf who should fuck off out of my country.
Liar and moron, I wish I were a wee yin and at school with his children, so that I could taunt them about their one-eyed idiot father.
So Gordon makes his second appearance in a year at the HoC. What a contemptable shit this man is. Words fail me when I come to think of him and the positions of power he has attained in this country.
Foul Shite Bastard Fucker
Hitting him permanently with a plank full of nails would be too good for him
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