Saturday, 21 August 2010

The Secret List


This is the secret list that doesn't officially exist of the useless "A" levels which the elitist top Universities use to weed out those who they don't really want in their hallowed cloisters and quads.

Flower Arranging
Media Studies
Skateboarding
Origami
Ballroom Dancing
Archery
Painting By Numbers
Hairdressing
Tattooing
Folk Dancing
Woodworking
Beachcombing
Journalism
Tweeting
Home Brewing
Stamp Collecting
Shoe Repairing
Fletching
Car Washing
Sudoko
Dressage
Cottaging

The Penguin

10 comments:

Joe Public said...

I can understand them not wanting Fletching because Archery is also on the list.

I suspect they won't be too keen on Felching, either.

The Penguin said...

Oddly enough you can fire a gun without having had to make the bullets yourself, and it's the same with bows and arrows.

All the Russell Group absolutely INSIST on good grades in Felching, though.

Oldrightie said...

You missed our pederasty. Penny. Oh, sorry, that's part of the politics curriculum.

Dioclese said...

You left out blogging aka journalism

Caratacus said...

Can't believe they included Wudwerk (our teacher was a Lancastrian) Mr.P. That's a craft, that is, and I speak as someone who is lost in admiration at the sight of any master in such things - stonemasons, welders, seamstresses, chefs, gardeners - we need them all and should respect their talents. That said, I can't believe you can get an 'A' level in Skateboarding. For Fucksake. Well... yes I can actually.

microdave said...

Woodwork & Shoe Repairing could prove useful when the world wide economic collapse happens.

Caratacus said...

Perzackerly md - you make my point better than I.

Even as the world darkens and refugees wander listlessly hither and yon you may be sure of one thing: your shoes STILL won't be ready until Thursday...

Captain Haddock said...

Caratacus & Microdave ..

What with Woodworking, Shoe repairing & a Lancastrian teacher ..

I think I detect a common thread developing here ..

Clogs ... ;) :) :)

microdave said...

There'll still be a need for haircutting as well, but I figured if I mentioned that earlier, you would accuse me of batting for the other side....

killemallletgodsortemout said...

So, nail technicians still have a chance, then?