"I would like to be able to thank all players, staff and Football Association for the professionalism they have shown during my years as overpaid and crap manager of the English National Team," Capello said in a short statement. "The problem is that I can't, as fuck all of them know which way to sit on a lavatory, let alone how to play the diamond formation or anything other than route one or the fucking 4-4-2. Trying to keep them out of the bar proved a real problem, especially when those free-loaders from the FA were around paying for drinks with the corporate credit cards. As for that complete cunt John Terry, I give him an other chance and not only has he let the team down yet again, he's cost me my fucking job!
Still, now I can go home and work on my sun-tan while my investment team count all that lovely money. Ciao!"