Wednesday 11 May 2011

One Laws For Them

A Thief


Mr Laws has been found guilty of theft over six breaches of the rules in relation to his expense claims. Mr Laws, 45, was Chief Secretary to the Treasury for 17 days last May. He resigned after The Daily Telegraph reported that he had stolen more than £40,000 to pay to James Lundie, his rent-boy, despite MPs having been banned from paying rent to family members or partners since 2006.

It was also disclosed that he stole hundreds of pounds a month to cover bills for utilities and maintenance. In total, Mr Laws stole more than £100,000, despite providing virtually no documentary evidence in support of the claims.

After new rules were introduced demanding that MPs produce bills or receipts to back up such claims, Mr Laws’s claims dropped sharply. An initial inadequate investigation by police is understood to have been dropped and passed to John "Dr Dolittle" Lyon, the Parliamentary Standards Commissioner.

Mr Bold As A Lyon has spent almost a year trying to avoid examining the claims and is understood to have eventually concluded that Mr Laws stole lots of tax-payer's money.

Yesterday, a committee of MPs met to discuss how best they could let their thieving colleague off without any real punishment.

Mr Thieving Laws is an extremely well-off former banker.

Doubtless he'll soon return to the cabinet to rejoin the other criminals.

The Penguin





8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hang him and all the thieving bastards

Oldrightie said...

Too quick, Anon. Pass the proven bugger round London's back streets for all to abuse. Oh, sod, he'd enjoy that.

Captain Haddock said...

A red-hot poker would stop his farting in church ..

Followed by an appointment with a lamp-post & a length of piano wire ..

Thieving Bugger ...

sixtypoundsaweekcleaner said...

Nah. Perhaps we could get him a job, then he'd have to work for a living.

Captain Haddock said...

sixtypoundsaweekcleaner said ...

"Nah. Perhaps we could get him a job, then he'd have to work for a living" ...

Would you employ a proven thief ? ..

Damned if I would, no matter how rehabilitated he claimed to be ..

Leopards don't change their spots .. ever ..

sixtypoundsaweekcleaner said...

What I meant was a job, you know one of those infernal things that only you and I know anything about. Then he'd have to work for a living.

Captain Haddock said...

But he's already comprehensively demonstrated that he's incapable of holding down a "proper" job .. which is why he became an MP in the first place ..

No .. I still favour the internal examination with a red-hot poker .. followed by hanging option ..

Now .. where did I leave my bellows & piano wire ?

Anonymous said...

Another fucking English shirt lifting shit licker.