Lord Prescott's Big Clean Out

From The Mouth Of The Humber...

Enough putrid fat to fill nine double-decker buses is being removed from Lord Prescott's bowels.

A team of 'flushers' equipped with full breathing apparatus has been drafted in with shovels to dig out an estimated 1,000 tonnes of clogged up fat.

Powerful jets are also being employed to break the stinking mass down.

The task to shift the disgusting matter could easily make the shortlist for Britain's worst jobs, but workers set about it with professionalism today.

The operation, which began in the early hours of this morning, is claimed to be the largest-ever sewer clean-up of its kind.

The build-up is the result of years of trough-pigging and pie-abuse. Danny Brackley, the specialist company's chief bowel flusher, said: 'We're used to getting our hands dirty, but nothing on this scale. We couldn't even access the main bowel as it was blocked by a four-foot wall of stinking solid fat.'

The clean-up is expected to last a couple of weeks.

The Penguin