"Hello, is that the Police Station? I want to report an armed robbery!"
"I'm very sorry, madam, we can't send anyone as they are all out collecting abandoned shopping trolleys. I can give you a crime number for the insurance, though...do you have a pen and paper handy? 3,689,208 - did you get that madam? Three million, six hundred and eighty-nine thousand, two hundred and eight. Thank you for calling."
The Penguin
Cuts needed here, Penny!
ReplyDeleteBut surely trolley collecting is a job far more useful to our society than that which PCSOs currently carry out.
ReplyDeleteThere are a few littering the park behind my place. Can you send them round?
ReplyDeleteYeah, I saw that too...
ReplyDeleteBut why do they need a copper (or 2) to help them?? Do the trolleys have a track record of resisting arrest? Councils seem more than capable of using the Highways & Streetworks act to close a road if there is the slightest risk, so even an abandoned trolley on a traffic island shouldn't be a problem...
Be fair, it was in Sheerness - the land that time forgot a place referred to by those locals who can speak as 'The Island', a very shallow gene pool indeed and no smoke mosnter to keep them in line.
ReplyDelete