Thursday, 19 August 2010

The Bottom Inspectors At Work

"Nice Floral Display, Sergeant!"

You could hardly make it up, even in the pages of Viz.

West Midlands Police of the impeccable record for fitting up villains have been issued with "guidance" on what underwear is permissible.

I do hope that senior officers will be checking to see that this all-important dictat is being adhered to by all officers. And of course, Her Majesty's Inspectorate Of Police will need to check on what the top brass are wearing.

It will probably involve a good number of forms to complete in triplicate whilst sat in the office in the warm with a cuppa and a bun.

The Penguin
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10 comments:

  1. PJH19 August 2010 at 15:43

    The strict guidance was issued as part of a revised uniform policy to present a 'professional and corporate appearance' to the public.

    I hardly think police-persons showing off their underwear to the general public would be presenting a "'professional and corporate appearance' to the public" anyway.

    The warning appeared on the police 'message of the day' section on the force intranet last week.

    The message was: 'Underwear should be of an appropriate colour to be inconspicuous underneath uniform.'

    One wonders if crotchless thermal longjohns and black rubber wonderbras are contraindicated by this latest diktat. I think we should be told...

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  2. PJH19 August 2010 at 15:46

    Oh, and wondering off-topic a bit into some seriousness:

    The warning appeared on the police 'message of the day' section on the force intranet last week.

    I wonder if "photography is not a crime" has/will ever appear on the police's "message of the day" system.

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  3. Oldrightie19 August 2010 at 16:17

    The whole thing is pants.

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  4. Captain Haddock19 August 2010 at 17:16

    Talk about kicking the arse out of it ....

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  5. hedgehog19 August 2010 at 17:42

    You wouldn't happen to know where I could find a black rubber wonderbra, I suppose...

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  6. Dioclese19 August 2010 at 18:18

    Clearly we need some bum to get to the bottom of this...

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  7. PJH19 August 2010 at 22:07

    @Hedgehog - here you go ;)

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  8. Sperm gargling policeman20 August 2010 at 08:09

    @PJH

    Thanks for the link, I bought some nice pink rubber leggings to go under my uniform trousers.

    I'll have to be careful in the locker room now though, or all the other lads will be pestering me for the details.

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  9. Old Seatonian20 August 2010 at 12:19

    So we pay some cretan to come up with this dribble whilst our streets are unsafe.

    And who will go when the cuts come....PC (Police Constable) Plod not PC (Politicaly Correct) underwear co-ordinator.

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  10. Hacked Off20 August 2010 at 18:38

    Did you mean cretin, or someone from Crete?

    ReplyDelete