The Fat Lodger And More Fiddled Figures

"I was concentrating on the figures in my expense claims"

Poor (well, not financially!) Jacqui Smith, our much derided Home Economics Secretary doesn't have the responsibilities that used to be part and parcel of one of the Great Organs Of The State in times gone by.

The Slippery Weasel has "Justice" - we all wish it were true! Northern Ireland, Child Care, and Broadcasting have all been moved to other departments.

So the Kebab Stuffer has The Police, and Immigration. Oh, and the regulation of British Summer Time.

Bearing in mind that in order to maximise her tax free allowances the Salad Dodger has her main residence in the spare room at her sister's house in South London, and only spends 3 nights a week there and the majority of her time back in Redditch, you might think that the Home Economics Secretary has realised that compared to her predecessors such as Michael Howard she has it fucking easy.

After all, she's got monkeys like McNulty and Woolas to do the day to day stuff.

Yet there's a continual stream of embarrassing leaks and bad press washing over the Home Office like sewage. I've noted a few of them on here of late.

The latest concerns the misleading use of statistics for the under-performing UK Borders Agency, whose "success" in deporting illegal immigrants is now seen to be a hollow boast.

How much more embarrassment for the government before she resigns or The Great Bogey Gobbler sacks her?

The Penguin