Monday, 29 June 2009

Billing Britain's Future

Morten Morland in The Times.

The Penguin

"Local Homes For Local People!"

Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

Local Homes For Local People! British Jobs For British Workers!

British Headlines/Gimmicks/ Soundbites/Relaunches For British Votes!

I think I prefer British Lamp Posts For British Politicians!!

The Penguin

Brown's Cunning Plan Leaked By Blinky

Blinky has let slip Jonah's Cunning Plan.

Everyone who votes Liebore at the general election will be given a peerage and a million pounds a year.


The Penguin

We Won't Miss The Targets

Good article by Philip Johnston in the Telegraph

"Our younger son is on a rite-of-passage trek across the globe and on Friday came the news from somewhere in South America that he had been mugged and all his bank cards stolen. Still, he was OK and it was not the end of the world; it just required me to cancel the cards and order him some new ones. The former is easy; the latter almost impossible.

After getting through an interminable succession of disembodied orders I finally spoke to a human being. "I am afraid that we need to talk to your son," he said. "Well you can't because he is in Peru, his mobile is not working and he is contacting us via the internet – and he can't get through your phalanx of automated instructions. Could you just send a replacement card to his home address and we will forward it?" "No, he has to call us." "I just explained that he cannot do so easily." "I know, I'm sorry but it's security."

We even went to his bank where we are known; and while staff were solicitous and helpful, we were told that they needed to speak to him. In the end, this will be sorted out, though it will take longer than it needs to. But the point here is that no one in the chain was allowed to make a decision for themselves. They were governed by orders, set centrally, that brooked no discretion or independent thought. Of course, security must be observed; but it was easy to establish that we were his parents. We possessed his birth certificate, proof of our identity and a joint address. But rules are rules. We would love to help, but we can't.

The same attitude has been evident in the public sector since Labour took office. Today, the Government will publish a policy document that will say – wait for it – that the target culture that has suffocated initiative for 12 years is to be abandoned because it is unlikely to deliver the reforms that the Labour Party wants to see. Instead, the various parts of the public sector that deliver services directly to us as taxpayers, such as the police, doctors and teachers, will be allowed to make more of their own judgments based on what is needed locally. Gordon Brown will announce the new approach in a document laughably entitled Building Britain's Future, together with a draft legislative programme for the next session of Parliament.

Can you believe this? Ministers who for years have been defending a system that has shown itself to be wasteful, inefficient and even perverse in its outcomes, now have the brass neck to stand up and say that, whoops, that didn't work after all, so here is Plan B.

Why were targets introduced? The Government would have you believe it was to drive up standards; but in reality they were a means of showing that Labour "cared". They were a political device. Whenever ministers were challenged about high levels of offending or poor levels of literacy they could say: "But we have a target to reduce it/increase it/scrap it, so we must be good." Targets were ostensibly introduced to hold the Government to account, but were used as a means of deflecting criticism.

The benchmarks were set not by you or me but by the very people who sought to obtain political capital from their attainment; and those who had to operate within this straitjacket found themselves unable to use their experience and discretion to do things a different way. Now, in a back-flip that would grace an Olympics gymnastic arena, Liam Byrne, the Chief Secretary to the Treasury, says: "We need a power shift from Whitehall ministers and civil servants that currently have the power and move it to citizens."

He wants to give people an entitlement to services like good education, safe streets and effective health care. Remind me: what did we spend all the money on that has pushed public spending up to levels not seen since wartime? Labour's education policy, a top-down fiasco, has left hundreds of thousands of children lacking in basic numeracy and literacy skills. Don't worry, says Ed Balls, the Children's Minister: we are going to scrap the prescriptive teaching methods that we introduced and leave it to teachers to teach.

The target approach did not cut crime; it made it worse. While offences such as burglary and car theft fell because of better security, the streets became less safe. Police chiefs were under pressure to ensure their officers were at a crime scene within a fixed time period because this was measurable, unlike the deterrent nature of a local bobby doing his community rounds. Soon, fewer police officers were seen in public, either waiting around for something to happen or filling out the voluminous paperwork that was considered necessary to push up standards.

Mr Brown will no doubt say that Labour was always planning to move from a target-based approach designed to drive up standards to a greater emphasis on local decision making. But no one will believe him. The problem is that the first stage failed because the system was wrong. What we are witnessing is less an attempt to put things right than a death-bed recantation. The perpetrators will look in vain for absolution. "

Philip Johnston

The Penguin

Just Bring Back The Cane.

All the bollocks which Blinky is spewing out over trying to force parents to make their children behave better is rather at odds with the liberal wishy-washy nonsense that has seen such a deterioration in the way that children and young people act over the last 30 years.

Parental discipline has been reduced to a vague threat of the naughty step, and school discipline has vanished altogether.

Bring back the cane, job sorted.

The Penguin

Sunday, 28 June 2009

Hoon Of The Day

Rogerstone Community Council Chairman Councillor Andrew Cooksey.

Righteous Cunt.

The Penguin

Dire Straits

Shame the first few minutes are missing, but still damn good.

The Penguin

British Lies For British Workers!

Jonah's sound bite of "British Jobs For British Workers" and all his squalid lies about how NuLiebore have created millions of new jobs are proven to be a right fucking sham by figures released by the official Office of National Statistics.

Immigrants make up 106% of all new jobs between Q1 1997 and Q1 2009.

In other words, they took all of the new jobs AND 6% of the old jobs. So actually fewer jobs for British Workers than when NuLiebore took office.

Hat tip to Fraser Nelson.

The Penguin

A Coward As Well As A Liar (And An Expenses Cheat)

Who'd a thought it? Another Jock with no bottle.

Alastair Darling has decided not to have the usual Comprehensive Spending Review due this autumn, instead he's postponed it until after the next election.

What was that about nothing to hide, nothing to fear?

What was that about transparency, Jonah?

The Penguin

Saturday, 27 June 2009

Gordon's Top Ten?

Financial Fuck Ups, that is.

1. Taxing dividend payments

Before 1997, dividends issued by UK companies and paid to pension funds were tax-free - that is, the tax could be claimed back via a system of tax credits. Not any more, decided Brown. Tax relief was scrapped, reducing the amount collected by pension funds by around £5 billion a year. Pension funds holding the cash that you, me and almost everyone else in the country plan to use for our retirement have lost around £100 billion over the last 12 years. That's one hell of a stealth tax.

2. Selling our gold

In May 1999 Gordon Brown had a plan to sell some gold. There were two problems with this, which concerned his economic advisers deeply. The price of gold had slumped after a decade of stagnation, but was likely to increase in the proceeding years. Added to this, the announcement of a major sell-off would drive the price down further. Little of this worried Gordon. Experts believe that the poorly timed decision to flog our national treasure has cost us all around £3 billion. Granted, that doesn't seem much nowadays, but more of that later.

3. Tripartite financial regulation

The system of financial regulation dividing powers between the Treasury, the Bank of England and the Financial Services Authority, established by Brown as Chancellor in 2000, missed what amounted to the biggest financial crisis of our lifetime. Whoops. This has led some glass-half-empty commentators to conclude that the system set up by Brown failed and should be replaced. The Commons Treasury Select Committee’s report on the collapse of Northern Rock said that the Financial Services Authority had “systematically failed in its duty” to oversee the troubled bank’s activities. Little did it realise at the time that Northern Rock was the over-leveraged tip of the securitised iceberg.

4. Tax credits

“Gordon Brown claims the tax credits system lifts children out of poverty,” says Simon Blackmore, 38, who was pursued for £6,057 in over-paid tax credits. “Maybe it does, but only to plunge them and their families into debt two years later.” Millions of low-income families have had to pay back the Treasury after receiving too much money in tax credits, putting them under huge financial and emotional strain. Meanwhile, 40 per cent of workers and families who deserved tax credits left billions of pounds unclaimed in the 2008-09 tax year for fear of being chased for the cash later on. Introduced in 1999, reformed in 2000, tax credits have been "a complete disaster zone", according to tax experts.

5. The £10,000 corporation tax threshold

In 2002, Gordon Brown introduced a new tax regime to help small businesses. He announced a new zero per cent rate of corporation tax on profits below £10,000. It was designed to boost the ability of small businesses to grow and prosper. It didn't quite work out this way. It became advantageous for sole traders such as taxi drivers or plumbers to turn themselves into limited companies to take advantage of the new rules. A Treasury Minister later commented that "the Government did not realise how many people would engage in abusive tax avoidance", despite the fact that it was "blindingly obvious" to tax experts "within 5 seconds" of the budget announcement that this would happen. Gordon scrapped the rules a few years later, raising the rate from 0 per cent to 19 per cent when he released how much money was being lost.

6. Abolition of the 10p tax rate

Mr Brown rarely apologises. In fact, he never apologises. But occasionally he acknowledges "mistakes", albeit begrudgingly. Over the abolition of the 10p tax rate in 2007, Mr Brown told Radio 4's Today programme that "we made two mistakes. We didn't cover as well as we should that group of low-paid workers who don't get the working tax credits and we weren't able to help the 60 to 64-year-olds who didn't get the pensioner's tax allowance." Experts use stronger language to describe the Budget of 2007, which was designed to produce positive headlines for the 2p cut in income tax. Accountants calculated that the scrapping of the 10 per cent tax rate, coupled with the increase in the proportion of tax credits withdrawn from higher earners, would leave 1.8 million workers earning between £6,500 and £15,000 paying an effective tax rate of up to 70 per cent.

7. Failing to spot the housing bubble

Gordon Brown said he ended boom and bust, and in those innocent days before the collapse of the global finance system we believed him. In 1997, he outlined his plans. "Stability is necessary for our future economic success", he wisely informed an audience at the CBI. "The British economy of the future must be built not on the shifting sands of boom and bust, but on the bedrock of prudent and wise economic management." The other components of that bedrock including a trillion-pound debt mountain and a decade of unchecked and unparalleled house price inflation presumably slipped his mind. In 2003 a mild-mannered Liberal Democrat MP by the name of Vince Cable dared to question the mantra of "the end of boom and bust". He asked Gordon Brown: "Is it not true that...the growth of the British economy is sustained by consumer spending pinned against record levels of personal debt, which is secured, if at all, against house prices that the Bank of England describes as well above equilibrium level?" Gordon replied: "The Honourable Gentleman has been writing articles in the newspapers, as reflected in his contribution, that spread alarm, without substance, about the state of the economy..." We all know what happened next.

8. 50 per cent tax rate

Robert Chote, director of the Institute for Fiscal Studies, has said the tax hike which heralded the end the new Labour may actually end up losing the Government money. "If you look at what happened when higher rates were last changed in the 1980s, that might lead you to suggest that such a move might actually lose you revenue, rather than gain it, as people actually declare less income for tax," he said.

9. Cutting VAT

"It would be funny if it wasn’t so serious," said a tax accountant when asked about the Brown-Darling brainwave to cut VAT by 2.5 percentage points. As a nation of shoppers, rather than shopkeepers, a chopped down sales tax sounds like a good idea, providing a vital boost to hard-pressed families at a time of financial hardship. There were two problems. It costs £12.5 billion a year and it has made little discernable difference to those hard-pressed families because it is shopkeepers, rather than shoppers, who have pocketed much of the benefit.

10. Public-sector borrowing

If Gordon had only saved a little more in the good times, we might have had a little more to fall back on in the bad, economists sigh. Last month saw public-sector net borrowing hit £19.9 billion, the highest on record, according to the Office for National Statistics. The chancellor of the exchequer, Alistair Darling, has forecast that Government borrowing will reach £175 billion this year. It is forecast that total government debt will double to 79 per cent of GDP by 2013, the highest level since World War 2. Mr Chote recently warned that "the scale of the underlying problem that the Treasury’s detailed forecasts identify will require two full parliaments of mounting austerity to repair.”

James Charles in The Times.

The Penguin

Legislating In Haste Is Recipe For Disaster

It seems that our political elite learn nothing from their past mistakes.

Knee Jerk laws rushed through in haste are always bad laws with many unintended consequences.

The Dangerous Dogs Bollocks, and The Dunblane Gun Ban are prime examples of this, and I can't be arsed to spell out why, you all know the score.

So Jonah's Quick Fix to stop the Expense Claim Scandal is likely to be complete shit as well, and the only surprise is that the previously spine-free Dr. Malcom Jack has had the temerity to say so.
The Penguin

Friday, 26 June 2009

Gordon Brown To Lead World In Mourning For People's Prince

Jonah has assumed the mantle of Chief Mourner in order to lead the world in it's grief over the untimely death of Michael Jackson.

"It is with great sadness that Sarah and I learnt of the premature death of Michael Jackson. Although my moral compass eschewed me from being in any way a politician who embraces celebrity, I had been looking forward to Michael teaching my children to dance in the same way that he taught me. Of course, I would never allow my children or my family to be used for publicity purposes, but we are united in our feelings of loss at this unhappy time, which started in America and is another Global Phenomenon, like the Credit Crunch which I saved the World from last month at the G20. I also very much admired the tireless way that Michael worked to lift children like Chandler Jordan out of poverty. I shall be discussing the funeral arrangements with the family in due course, and can assure you that all of the Cabinet will be attending to pay our respects, it is the very least that we can do for the People's Prince Of Pop."

Unlike all those soldiers killed in your illegal war in Iraq, Prime Mentalist.

The Penguin

Brown Shows Moral Compass To The World

The Penguin

Defending The Indefensible

Mark Thompson is a weapons grade cunt, whose failure to properly manage the farce known as the BBC is matched only by his self satisfied smugness.

He seems to think that the feather-bedded publicly funded BBC is somehow under-paying its senior managers, and that they are entitled to suck even more from the public purse by way of lavish expenses.

I sincerely hope Cameron is taking notice, and takes an axe to the fucking festering pile of hand-wringing liberal wankers.

The Penguin

Thursday, 25 June 2009

Seems The Bishop Has No Faith?

The Right Reverend Christopher Budd, Roman Catholic Bishop for Plymouth has apparently lost his faith.
Why else would he suspend the use of communion wine because of fears over swine flu?

Surely one of the central tenets of Catholic belief is that the wine becomes the Blood Of Christ during the communion service?

How on earth could the Blood Of Christ transmit swine flu to believers? Are they not more likely to cop for something like HIV or CJD or some other nasty blood-borne disease? Or herpes?

The Penguin

Spreading The Word

Hat Tip Cato

The Penguin

The Second Coming

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in the sands of the desert.

A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

W B Yeats

The Penguin

Come, Friendly Bombs, And Fall On Slough

Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough!
It isn't fit for humans now,
There's postal voting by the ton,
By Paki and by Indian.

Come, bombs and blow to smithereens
The Council Offices and their machines,
Jobsworths, politically correct with tiny minds,
Hiding behind their vertical blinds.

I could go on, but frankly Slough is just not worth the effort in taking the piss out of it. Luckily the M4 means you don't have to go there, or even pass through it anymore.

You're better off in Birmingham, madam, and well done for taking the bastards on, and winning.

The Penguin

A Radical Solution?

It seems that the removal to prison of five pikeys from one thieving family has resulted in a 20% drop in crime in Gloucestershire.

You have to wonder if locking up loads more pikeys would reduce crime to practically nothing in rural areas?

The Penguin

Yet Another Triumph For Custard Pie Woolas!

The useless prat in nominal charge of the useless UK Borders Agency ( who must be in line for bonuses all round after granting a record 220,000 immigrants Britich Citizenship last year, the cunts) has chalked up yet another triumph.

Under his leadership, the imbeciles at the aptly named Lunar House has pissed away a MILLION quid on a daft scheme to persuade failed (that's right, FAILED!!!) asylum seekers to go home by bribing them, and only managed to get ONE family to fuck off.

Never mind, they are confident that they'll do better with a new sceme based on the old scheme.

The Penguin

Wednesday, 24 June 2009

Jobsworth Alert! ( Anonymous Hoon Of The Day)

Cornwall County Council!

Notice how they have gone into "retreat mode" once the publicity hit the fan.

The Penguin

The Leprechaun Speaks Sense

At some press conference called to announce that RyanAir passengers would have to fly their own fucking planes in future, Michael O. Leary took the opportunity to hand out as good a kicking as you'll find in a month of Sundays.

Richard Branson & British Airways: "It's like a little chihuahua barking at a dying labrador. Nobody cares."

Recession: "This is so much fun. I love recessions. You get the chance to kick the ---- out of everybody," he said. "It's boom times that are boring."

Government Plans: "Only Labour could invent a tax that penalises the poor and favours the rich," said Mr O'Leary. "The UK needs a new Government because they are a group of witless, hopeless Scots whose solution to the recession is to tax your way out. If that was the answer Ted Heath would have been elected for six successive terms."

Still never going to fly on his fucking rubbish airline though.

The Penguin

Hoon Of The Day

Stirling Moss.

Busybody Cunt.

The Penguin

Sauce For The Goose?

I thought it was quite appropriate, personally.

The Penguin

Going Going Gone

Bye Bye Kodachrome.

The Penguin

The Brownwash Goes Public

Best Avoid Woodland. And Mountains!

Surely some dreadful mistake has been made? Has Sir John Chilcot suddenly re-discovered that he has a spine after all?

Sir John, who was part of the earlier Butler Whitewash has decided that Tony and Gordon must do their lying in public.

Shouldn't be a problem, they are very well used to it.
The Penguin

You Just Can't Believe Anything Gordon Says

Last week Jonah declared that in future MP's expenses would be made public with the maximum transparency.

Surprise, surprise! It seems that this will not extend to the addresses of their "second homes" - which would mean that abuses over phantom mortgages, council tax, "flipping" and capital gains tax remain hidden.

Mind you, this is the fuckwit who has handed over financial regulation of Britain's banks to the EUSSR while claiming to have kept control himself.

The Penguin

Police Take Action On Pikeys - It's Party Time!

Taking a rather different approach to bashing demonstrators in the City of London or ganging up to man-handle women who dare to ask for badge numbers, Inspector Knacker is at last taking action over the problem of illegal gipsy encampments.

He's blowing thousands of pounds in throwing a fucking party for them.

The Penguin

Tuesday, 23 June 2009

Your Turn For The Gimp Mask, Ed!

The Penguin

It's Wanker's Cramp, Prime Minister!

The Penguin

How Would You Describe Gordon's Ringpiece, Mandy?

The Penguin

Just How Big Is Your Vibrator, Margaret?

The Penguin

Shahid Malik - More "Inadvertent" Overclaims!

"I'm a million percent bent!"

Surprise surprise, our shifty little greaser Shahid "mini-Vaz" Malik has claimed an extra thousand quid or so over and above his actual council tax.

Of course, this is just an "honest mistake" and completely inadvertent. After all, his solicitor says so, and he should fucking know shouldn't he, because he's fucking paid to say so.

But never mind, Jonah needs his token black face or two in the Government Of All The Crooks, and then being a fucking Muslim is handy as well. Ticks two boxes for the price of one.

The Penguin

So Much For The Religion Of Peace

It seems that the corrupt bastards controlling Iran in the hypocritical name of their "religion" have no concept whatsoever of mervy, forgiveness, or charity.

They have their minions shoot dead an innocent bystander, and then try to ban prayers for her.

I think that places Islam beyond the pale.

The Penguin

Monday, 22 June 2009

Black Is White, Blue Is Red, And Brown Is Shit

What is the one-eyed cunt on, some sort of happy juice? The banana waving wanker at the Foreign Office admits that they failed, but Jonah is insisting that there was no failure.

So how come the hostages turn up dead then, Gordon? Is that some sort of success?

Still, for the twat who insisted the 10p Tax Fiasco would hurt no-one, and who abolished Boom and Bust, it may well be the reality in his parallel universe.

I just wish he'd fucking stop intruding into ours.

The Penguin

Just Resign, You Embarrassing Waste Of Skin!

David Millipede, our completely useless Foreign Secretary should just fall on his fucking banana.

He's doing one thing I thought was impossible though!

He's making Margaret Beckett look good as Foreign Secretary.

The Penguin

I Couldn't Say It Any Better Myself

Despite my modesty. So here's Peter Oborne explaining why Slippey Weasel Jack Straw is not to be trusted or believed.

"People occasionally ask me why I regard Jack Straw as a third-rate politician who has done grave harm to British public life over a long period. The perfect answer comes in his attitude towards the Human Rights Act.

As Home Secretary, ten years ago, it was Straw who pioneered the Bill into law. Yet some months ago he gave an interview to the Mail in which he repeatedly criticised the Act. He labelled it a 'villains' charter', laid into what he called 'ambulance-chasing lawyers', promised to wage war against the compensation culture that it had spawned and attacked judges for being 'too nervous' about deporting terrorist suspects.

He concluded that the Act had been such a travesty that he planned to rebalance it with a 'declaration of responsibilities'.

Last Saturday, however, Straw attended a conference arranged by Liberty, which campaigns (very honourably) for civil rights and is one of the fiercest supporters of the Human Rights Act. Yes, Straw changed his tune again. He told this fashionable, metropolitan audience that the act was 'one of my proudest achievements'.

Such pathetic U-turns go right to the heart of the crisis of trust in British politics. Voters would respect politicians more if they held genuine convictions rather than revealing an oleaginous desire to ingratiate themselves with whatever audience they happen to be talking to at the time."

The Penguin

Postman Prat Needs To Get A Grip

Never mind fiddling with ASBO statistics, the new Home Secretary "Postman Prat" needs to get a fucking grip on the completely out of control Police Farce.

Hot on the heels of the G20 furore and the death of Ian Tomlinson, video footage is leaked to the Grauniad of the shockingly brutal and unjustifiable arrest of peaceful protesters who dared to ask officers from the West Yorkshire plod for their badge numbers.

I can't find a way of grabbing the embed code, but go and have a look at the Grauniad site. Not pretty. Then the cunts wonder why they have lost the respect and support of the public.

The Penguin

Hoon Of The Day

"Doctor" John Reid, who sent our troops to Afghanistan without suffiecient numbers or enough of the right equipment to have any chance of doing the mission they were asked to do. The cunt who said he thought they wouldn't have to fire a rifle.

Ignorant Cunt.

The Penguin

More Trouble For The Poisonous Dwarf

Isn't it a shame that some of the teams involved in Formula One have decided that enough is enough? Enough of the Poisonous Dwarf and Spanking Max and their financial and political chicanery.

Even if the rebels are brought back into the fold, surely there has to be a regime change?

The nonsense of trying to move the British GP from Silverstone just because Bernie The Bribe doesn't get on with Jackie Stewart demonstrates just how barking mad the circus has become.

The Penguin

Sunday, 21 June 2009

Brown's Brownie Exposed.

Fraser Nelson provides us with a nice simple set of figures which prove Jonah is lying his ugly head off when he claims that there are no spending cuts in his sock-puppet Darling's "Budget".

He must really think we are all too fucking stupid to bother to check up on him, or too fucking daft not to take note of respected bodies like the IFS rather than just swallow more old cock from discredited proven fucking liars.

The Penguin

Prove You Believe It, Jobsworth!

Bob "The Knob" Ainsworth, the over-promoted trade union organiser now laughably our Secretary Of State for Defence keeps insisting against the evidence that the RAF Nimrod aircraft is safe to fly.

Well, Jobsworth, let's see you put your fat saggy arse where your words are. Go and fly around Afghanistan in one, including an in flight refuelling.

Then we might fucking well believe you. Oh, and then go out with the troops in a fucking Snatch Landrover.

The Penguin

Another Triumph For Woolas!

"Never Mind, My Pension's Fucking Brilliant!"

You have to hand it to Phil Custard Pie Woolas, he does know how to preside over a monumental fuck-up.

Hot on the heels of his marvellous handling of Gurkhagate, for which he won universal derision while Joanna Lumley pulled his strings, comes news of the money being lavished on failed asylum seekers who the numpty has failed to deport because his crappy minions are having rings run round them by m'learned friends, presumably on legal aid, the cunts.

The costs have risen from £4 MILLION to £73 MILLION a year under his inspired leadership.

Surely he is a strong candidate for Prime Mentalist when Jonah is sectioned?

The Penguin

Hoon Of The Day

John Bercow.

Untrustworthy Cunt.

The Penguin

Is There Nothing The Gorgon Won't Pollute?

"Don't Be Scared, Little Child, I'm The Son Of The Manse!"

Pass the Sick Bags, and some wet wipes, preferably slightly scented.

Jonah is to "feature" on a special Songs Of Praise, which will have all his favourite hymns and psalms. You can expect themes of Prudence, Courage, No More Boom And Bust, Lifting Children Out Of Poverty, and British Jobs For British Workers.

What a fucking cunt he is.

The Penguin

Friday, 19 June 2009

Probably The Worst Job In The World?

Just imagine.

Called out to unblock Jonah's "choked" toilet.

And they only charged him £75.00 plus VAT.

The Penguin

British Sack For British Workers

Another triumph for Jonah as 900 are sacked and the strikes spread.

Meanwhile the cunt is in Brussels giving away more powers to the EUSSR.

I hope his plane goes the way of Glen Miller's, who must have rather regretted criticising Vera Lynn's singing when he realised she'd cut through his fuel lines with her nail file...

The Penguin

Jonah's Farmy Farm Animals On Expenses?

The Telegraph's publication of the complete claims is proving very interesting.

Seems Jonah's making out that his farmy farm animals are window blinds.

I think I'll have a poke around on John Lewis's site...

The Penguin

UPDATE - Possibly window blinds. He's still a cunt though.